👉 Your Brain Isn’t Losing It. Estrogen Just Left the Building.

We're pretty cozy at the mo',  writing to you from our favorite coffee shop. Our dog BobbyJon is "working hard" too – being super cute and snoozing belly up.

In this week's newsletter we're talking about the perimenopausal brain! 

Because, unless you live on a planet devoid of reproductive systems, perimenopause affects you too!

The Lowdown on the Perimenopausal Brain

Perimenopause is the transition period between our reproductive years and non-reproductive years (menopause), when estrogen and progesterone production fluctuate wildly on the way to what will eventually be their lowest levels.

Some call it Cougar Puberty(!) — because of how it echoes the hormonal fluctuations of the early teen years when estrogen and progesterone production was ramping up instead of down.

In general, this time in our lives gets a seriously bad wrap due to lack of information, embarrassingly low levels of research, and a PR machine that wants to sell products for "horrendous" "catastrophes" like "menobelly".

But here at the Center, we believe that if we all learn practical, compassionate ways to work with brain states during the critical era of perimenopause, we can radically smooth our hormonal transition, set ourselves up for greater connection and success in this chapter (and beyond), and live into a reclaimed truer identity of power and wisdom. (Hello, wise matriarch!)

It's important because you already know the deal:
 

Fluctuating hormones during perimenopause drastically affect the nervous system!

Every human brain is designed to move fluidly between brain states depending on the moment-to-moment "best approach" to the current environment. But due to the random and dramatic fluctuations of estrogen and progesterone during perimenopause we often shift between brain states unpredictably, unprovoked, and at unwelcome times, despite our best efforts to keep cool and remain calm.

What's Happening inside the Brain:

The brain's three main super-networks – Survival, Emotional, and Executive – get majorly f-ed with (that's the scientific term, right?) when reproductive hormones drop. These hormones don't just stick to the business of the "birds and the bees", not by a long shot... Even though they aren't technically "neurohormones" (made for working inside our skulls), they get "all up in there" – modulating just about everything that matters, including our brain function.
 

The Survival System Impact

Estrogen is involved in (all) our thermoregulation and circadian rhythms — so when it drops, we see increases in body temperature without exertion, and increases in alertness when one should be sleeping. These are symptoms our nervous system already associates with danger, because when we're met with a predator our thermoregulation gets interrupted  and our hyper-vigilance goes way up. 

So, even though our lack of sleep and our hot flashes are estrogen-related, our nervous system will assume it's danger-related and cue a Survival reaction (Fight, Flight, Freeze, Appease).

Yank away a key ingredient in regulation, and the system in charge of regulation is going to get dysregulated!
 

What this means is that perimenopause will increase our susceptibility of slipping into Survival Mode.

Survival Brain State
⭐️ Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Appease.

A perimenopausal person in this state might:

• Lash out unexpectedly. (Fight)

• Suddenly ditch out from an appointment, obligation, or even a key relationship. (Flight)

• Experience stuckness, paralysis, inability to get anything done. (Freeze)

• Self-sacrifice, over-yes, people please. (Appease)

Fun fact: In not-so-distant times, people displaying sudden or increased Survival reactions during this era of hormonal transition were deemed insane, or dangerous, and sometimes excommunicated or put in asylums.

The Emotional System Impact

Estrogen and progesterone are involved with mood modulation. Their random fluctuation during perimenopause will increase the likelihood of equally random-seeming flushes of emotion, and their overall decline will increase the intensity of our emotional experience in general.

In laymen's terms it's called "mood swings", y'all, but what's really happening is not increased emotion (emotion is happening all the time) but decreased hormonal support for smooth emotional management.

Yank away a key ingredient in emotional regulation, and the system in charge of emotional regulation is going to get dysregulated!
 

What this means is that perimenopause will increase the likelihood, intensity, and unpredictability of Emotional Mode.

Emotional Brain State
⭐️ Is looking for ways to process, express, or suppress feelings.

A perimenopausal person in this state might:

• Fall into an emotional "vibe" that gets bigger and lasts longer than usual.

• Notice many things they no longer like about their life, their job, their relationships, or themselves.

• Assess events, issues, or people unfavorably.

• Experience intense emotion (longing, frustration, etc.) that requires action, without seeing any reasonable ways to take action.

• Act rashly, and make decisions based on emotion.

• Feel competing emotions at the same time.

The emotional needs of this hormonal transition are intense, yet support is often lacking, or withheld due to misunderstanding, or replaced with medical intervention that treats symptoms instead of also supporting emotional processing. Due to this, many people during this era experience a sense of isolation, confusion, and self-blame.

The Executive System Impact

Dude, estrogen is one busy bee. 

It boosts the production, release, and function of dopamine and acetylcholine – two key neurotransmitters associated with reward, memory, focus, and motivation. 

Yank away key ingredients in the ability to cognitively function, and the system in charge of cognitive function is going to... well, not function no more!
 

What this means is that perimenopause is likely to cause interruptions in the smooth operation of the Executive System.

Executive Brain State
⭐️ Exhibits clear thinking, empathy, flexibility, creativity, cooperation, humor, memory, etc..

A perimenopausal person in a disrupted version of this state might:

• Experience "brain fog".

• Show symptoms often associated with ADHD.

• Find it difficult to start tasks.

• Forget things.

• Unconsciously seek more instant gratification sources of dopamine like salty-sweet foods, video games, social media, alcohol, or shopping.

The Good News

It's called a transition period for a reason.

Once the fluctuations subside, the brain adapts to the lack of estrogen and progesterone. 

Many people experience the arrival at this post-reproductive era like a homecoming – a return to the person they were before their body attuned itself to the goal of reproduction. Questions rise to the surface, like:

Who am I now?
What do I want? 
What do I value most?
 

And...

⭐️Transition becomes fast-tracked metamorphosis when we get enough support.
 

If you, or someone you love is crossing this hormonal threshold... here are some ideas:

1. Double-down on Survival Support

• Dress in layers for easy temperature regulation.

• Prioritize sleep.

• Never get hungry.

• Never get thirsty.

• Have a couple Survival Support strategies at the ready (ask us for some, we'll hook you up).

• Explore HRT if that's right for you.

2. Get more Emotional Support than ever before

• Make that coffee date with your friend/spouse twice as long and twice as regular..

• See how many feelings you can name in a day. (A dozen or more feelings per day is normal.)

• Empathize with your feelings, no matter how contradictory they are.

• Don't wait for a reason to cry or emote, schedule regular emoting opportunities.

• Turn up the touch! Increasing your levels of oxytocin (which helps regulate other neurotransmitter levels) will help reassure your nervous system that you aren'y actually dying.

• Hire a professional. You're worth it.

3. Give your Executive System some grace

• Write it down. Whatever it is, just write it down.

• Don't make fun of yourself, you're having withdrawal symptoms from vital hormones, you're not "loony" or whatever other joke you usually make.

• Ride the focus wave: Focus, take a break, go pee, pet the cat, name some feelings, then come back for more focus.

• Your brain is a new dance partner — collaborate, instead of control.

This is what we teach.

How to use brain systems and state-specific support to meet our nervous system where it is – in any chapter of our lives – to increase efficacy, ease, success, connection, enjoyment, and more.

For the perimenopausal brain, it's not about denigrating ourselves, giving up, or giving over our power — it's about knowing ourselves, doubling down on support, and turning the mythos about this transition on its head. 

Want to become a pro at this?
Our NeuroEmotional Coach Training is a comprehensive road map. Spend five science-and-connection-soaked months with us and come out an expert on supporting yourself and others to work with the flow of neurochemistry. Class starts February 5th.

And whether you are just supporting your perimenopausal loved one, or you are the perimenopausal loved one – we're cheering you on!

❔🧠 The Mystery of the Teen Brain

Today we're writing to you – about the teen brain! 

We recently taught a workshop on how to teach a workshop about the brain states – very meta! (Our Advanced Certification students graduate with the knowledge and prowess to teach any room how to work with the brain states of anybody!). For our demonstration workshop we focused on the teen brain and thought we'd share some of the key concepts with you.

The Lowdown on the Teen Brain

If we learn simple, practical ways to work with brain states – ours and our teens’ – we can radically increase our peace, our connection, and our chances of success with each other.

Because here’s the deal:

Teens are not intentionally storming off, putting in earbuds, or ignoring us just to make life difficult. (Even though they can get really good at making it look intentional...)

Every human brain is designed to move fluidly between brain states depending on the moment-to-moment needs of their current environment. But due to the massive overhaul the teen brain goes through between the ages of 12 and 24, their brain is switching states more frequently, quickly, dramatically, and unexpectedly.

Under stress (even mild social stress), teens can more easily drop into Survival Mode — where the brain is built only for one thing: fending off danger.
Not: listening, planning, being considerate, helping with dinner, caring about our experience, staying in the room, or joyfully connecting.

This is why conversations about homework, chores, weekend plans, college applications, and even family pizza night can feel endlessly fraught.

But when we support their brain states, we get:

        • More openness
        • More willingness
        • More warmth
        • More follow-through
        • And, sometimes – more time with us

Brain States á la Teen

All humans experience three primary brain states:

Survival State
⭐️ Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Appease reactions.
A teen in this state might:
- Argue randomly about an unimportant topic. (Fight)
- Bolt for their room. (Flight)
- Stay in bed, or on their phone, or in the bathroom for huge amounts of time. (Freeze)
- Act suddenly overly-sweet and make lots of false promises. (Appease)

Emotional State
⭐️ The brain is processing feelings and checking: Is it safe to share? Or do I need to hide this?
A teen in this state might:
- Be wearing their hoodie up and/or pajamas, schluffing around.
- Have a laundry list of what's wrong with the world/family/day/school.
- Characterize people, places, and things unfairly or dramatically.
- Complain about a thing and then refuse help about that thing.
- Be full of such joy or mirth that they can't be rational or mindful of risks.

Executive State
⭐️ The brain’s high-performance system that exhibits clear thinking, empathy, flexibility, creativity, cooperation, humor, memory, etc..
A teen in this state might:
- Goof around, but without being frenetic.
- Make jokes.
- Be interested in others.
- Most closely resemble themselves at a younger age.

But here's the catch:
 

Only one state can drive at a time.

We can’t logic a teen out of Survival.

We can’t motivate a teen out of Emotional overwhelm.

We can support the brain that’s driving — so that the teen naturally shifts to an  Executive State on their own.

That’s what we call Speaking Brain.

And the basic steps are beautifully simple:

A — Assess
Notice which brain is currently “driving.” Look at body language, pace, tone, thinking style, intensity, or shut-down.

R — Regulate
We regulate ourselves. A regulating breath, a drink of water, slower movements — this literally tells their nervous system, this is not a Survival moment.

T — Talk (to the brain that’s driving):
Speak the language of the current brain state. (Not the state you wish they were in.)
 

Survival Brain
needs: safety, calm, time, breath, sensory comfort, non-threatening presence.
Ways you can Speak Survival Brain with a teen:
- Mood lights
- No conversation or questions
- Patience
- Plentiful and easy food they can grab (available, not offered)
- Don't take anything personally
- Calmly, plainly, non-reactively hold boundaries
What doesn't help: explanations, corrections, frustrations, commands. 

Emotional Brain
needs: empathy, curiosity, kindness, acknowledgment, and connection.
Ways you can Speak Emotional Brain with a teen:
- Murmur sounds of understanding (even if you don't fully get it all)
- Reflect emotions, "Oh, that sounds frustrating."
- Get curious with them about what else they feel
What doesn't help: solutions, reassurance, or admonitions (“You just need to relax.”)

Executive Brain
needs: collaboration, choices, respect, agency, logic, partnership.
Ways you can Speak Executive Brain with a teen:
- Offering the option of teaming up (not automatically "helping")
- Respecting their knowledge of self and circumstances
- Cheering on their solutions
- Circling back to anything that needs to be cleared up from earlier when their brain wasn't online

When we talk to the right brain state, we don’t just reduce conflict — we grow connection, and help our teen get back to their own capability,  rather than trying to drag them there.

The Good News

Teen brains are rewiring themselves right now – massively. It’s messy and glitchy, but it’s also the perfect moment to introduce emotional and nervous system support.

When we support teen brain states well:

• Executive Brain becomes available more often and stays on longer

• Communication becomes clearer and less explosive

• Repair becomes easier and faster

• We become trusted allies, rather than perceived threats

• Relationships deepen – even in the thick of adolescence

This is what we teach.

How to use brain systems and state-specific support to turn everyday life into fertile ground for connection, capability, and calm.

It’s not about controlling teens – or anyone else!

It’s about supporting their brain so they can be who they’re capable of being.

Want to become a pro at this?
Our NeuroEmotional Coach Training is a comprehensive road map. Spend five science-and-connection-soaked months with us and come out an expert on supporting yourselves and others to work with the flow of neurochemistry. Class starts February 5th.

And if you have teens in your life, know we're right there with you! Our daughters are (about to be) 25, 22, and 18. We're cheering you on from just a little up the path!

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P.S. If you'd love more of this in conversation form — and want to see how it works in real parent/teen situations — let's chat.

Brain-savvy Tips for Holiday Hosting

It's holiday time again!

Better be ready to be stressed.

The end.

That's the whole newsletter. 

You'rrrre welcome... 
 

Just kidding!

We would never send you into the holiday season without some love and a game plan!

Because the nervous system kinda hates holidays:

- increased activity
- increased planning and communicating
- increased expenditures
- increased expectations
- increased uncertainty

The most sensitive parts of our nervous system (We're looking at you amygdalae! You sweet paranoid co-captains of the Survival System!) prefer somewhat boring, predictable, low-stimulation scenarios.
And almost no one would describe holidays that way, right?

Go ahead — get some related human beings that don't usually hang out a whole bunch, put them in a room, with the understanding that they must create meaning, fun, and harmony, with a tight timeline.
Just "watch" your amygdalae freak out... 
 

No one wants freaked out amygdalae.

(There's our new t-shirt!)

So... we gotta do something about your "pesky" brain and those 3 main systems that are likely to get involved with your holiday fun.

Here are the brain states – holiday style.

If we do nothing, a big part of our holiday will be spent in a Survival or (uncomfortable) Emotional brain state — no bueno!

But if we do something (and we'll tell you what), we'll get to spend more of our holiday in an Executive state — super bueno!

That key something is what we call Speaking Brain. In this case, it just means making sure we keep our Survival System chill, and our Emotional System held, by meeting Survival and Emotional System needs. That way, they will have a seat at the table but not try to host the holiday for us.

So... here's the:
 

Center for Emotional Education's Checklist for Happenin' Holidays!

Meet Survival Needs

(Some celebration-centric ideas)

1. Food – eat a whole-ass meal before your guests arrive. Do not fall for the ol' "I'll snack and eat alongside my guests." trick.  Host's rarely eat or eat enough!

2. Water – Don't you dare get dehydrated — this is a marathon! Chug, chug, chug! 

3. Safety –

   1. Don't invite any predators (however you take that term) to your party

   2. Update your oven mitts — no holes, no burns!

   3. Keep a Regulating Breath (exhales slow and super long) going – the whole time (no joke!)

4. Temperature –

   1. Maybe your hair is cuter down, but put it up anyway! (It's too hot when it's down)

   2. Crack a window, or crank the heat, depending on your hemisphere

   3. Wear layers you can shed or don according to your needs — think cardigans.

5. Predictability –

   1. Make a plan for the day, do your part to follow it – especially the parts that are self-loving, like that shower, or that dog walk

   2. Don't improvise — just follow the tried-and-true recipe!

6. Time –

   1. Walk everywhere slow and steady – even if you're running behind schedule!

   2. When in a time crunch, bring back that Regulating Breath — because, yes, you did forget to breathe.

7. Security –

   1. Turn the porch light on, or the outdoor fairy lights (yeah, we're looking at you Australia)

   2. Put away stuff you will worry about 

   3. Sharpen your knives — not for self-defense!  Dull knives are more likely to slip and cut you.

Then...

Meet Emotional Needs

(Some holiday-specific suggestions)

1. Expression –

   1. Vent. Remember that shower and/or that dog walk you prioritized? Use that time to list all the things you hate about hosting. Permission to be petty!

   2. Cry! It's your party and you can cry if you want to. Actually you should cry because you need to, it's good for you, and perhaps counterintuitively, it is soothing to the Emotional System and detoxing to your entire nervous system (which lowers resting stress levels).

2. Time –

   1. Prioritize feelings in your prep time. Everyone focuses on having the venue and the food ready when hosting a holiday party, but who cares if your house is clean if you're too emotionally pent up to enjoy it! Weep before sweeping, we always say! (Or while sweeping, for higher efficiency...)

   2. Leave room for other people's feelings! Someone is going to hate their outfit/hair/role/sock. That someone might be you, or it might be one of your clan. In any case, expect feelings, schedule them into the flow chart.

3. Recognition –

   1. Notice Name Touch – that's a mnemonic device. Notice when you cringe at what Uncle Bob said (C'mon Uncle Bob! Sheesh!). Name the feelings coming up for you (Aversion, Embarrassment, Ire). Then offer yourself some tender Touch by way of some empathetic phrases muttered to yourself while chopping the lettuce ("That didn't feel good.No one would like that comment."). And repeat...

   2. Give a wink and a nod to the feelings that will have to wait. The Emotional System is also tasked with suppressing feelings, and sometimes that's what's needed. Some of the feelings that show up during the holidays (Hello grief! Hello  rage!) aren't party-savvy. Making a mental note to check in with those feelings later is super smart. Actually following up with those feelings later is genius.

 
If you're doing any of the above, you likely will be processing more from your Executive System and therefore you'll be moving and shaking and executing like a boss, but if you want to help your Executive System be an even better party host, then you could go for this:

Meet Executive Needs

(Party-savvy possibilities)

1. Information – get some ahead of time! The Executive System loves information.

   1. Check the weather leading up to your event and prepare for all possibilities. (This one is probably "D'uh" but doing it with the intention of supporting your Executive needs gives you more points.

   2. Ask for RSVPs so that you have a head count. Even ballpark numbers are nice!

2. Help –

   1. Ask for some! Even baby help like, "Will you please stir this?" will feel great to your system. So even if you don't technically need it, and you wouldn't die without it, and you're a really capable powerful person who is good at doing hard things (Yeah, we're looking at you, You...), ask anyway.

   2. Accept some! At least one person will offer help, and the old you will want to say, "I've got it! You sit down and enjoy yourself!". The new you who's looking to meet the needs of all your brain states, will graciously and simply say: "Yes, please. Thank you. It's so fun to team up!".

   3. (By the way... Many folks feel better if they can contribute or do a task. You're helping meet some of their needs when you incorporate their help.)

3. Plans –

   1. Seating chart anyone? Let the kids make name plates from construction paper, and put them on the table.

   2. Playlist anyone? Let your niece make a playlist and cue it up.

   3. (Even tiny "silly" plans can feel great to the nervous system.)

Now you're ready to party.

May your brain and the brains around you, be merry and bright!

Or rather...

May your brain and the brains around you, be neuro-emotionally supported this holiday season.

Our Furnace Broke — and So Did My Mood

Daylight savings kicked in and our furnace stopped working.

Just when you'd want to do a photoshoot in the yellow leaves and then cozy up with a frothy chai in your cozy den, it was instead dark at 4pm and literally as cold inside as it was outside.

For three weeks.

Here's what happened for me during those 21 days.

Wearing two sweaters and new earrings from my mama.

...I Had Dark Thoughts

There is something we teach in all our courses, called State-Specific Thinking. What this means is that our thoughts match the neurochemical state in which we find ourselves (and not the other way around, aka thoughts create feelings). Especially in an uncomfortable Emotional Brain state and most Survival Mode brain states, we tend to have pretty negative thoughts.

When our furnace broke and our house – and my toes, nose, and fingers – were cold all day, my mood plunged along with the temps. Although I had shelter, water, safety, blankets, and food, the lack of warmth tilted my nervous system more regularly toward upset Emotional and reactive Survival states.

From here everything looked and felt frozen and dreary.

* My face (though smiling for the camera) slackened.

* My outlook on each aspect of my life dimmed.

* The occasional shortage of milk in the fridge felt catastrophic.

State-Specific Thinking was having its way with me, and my thoughts perfectly matched my discomfited brain states.

I heard myself, inside my own head, say things like:

* "Well, not everyone gets to have what they want."

* "I guess no one likes us."

* "Nothing is fun."

* "We're on a downward slide."

Pretty dark!

…I Supported Myself

I'm an expert at working with brain states and helping others to do the same. (The Center has clients and students all over the world working with their brain states to develop Emotional Sovereignty and increase personal success and satisfaction. We've been doing that work for almost 20 years.) And over the last few weeks there were times when I wanted to be in charge of how I felt and not let the temperature of my house dictate my brain state and therefore my thoughts.

So I did something about it.

– Before coaching my clients

– Before teaching Emotional Sovereignty School

– Before signing a big work contract

– Anytime I needed to think clearly

– Whenever I wanted to feel some jazz and pep

Here's a partial list of what I did to shift my brain state and improve my feelings (and therefore my thoughts):

* Got some NeuroEmotional Coaching sessions

* Used all my Emotional Sovereignty tools

* Wore extra clothes

* Worked in a warm coffee shop instead of from home

* Stayed fed, well

* Reduced other forms of stress (putting off anything that didn't need immediate tending)

* Vented and moaned

* Took myself on walks and intentionally emoted my anger, despair, frustration, etc.

* Worked out a lot

* Ran several miles a week

* Never skipped an intimacy opportunity

When I did these things my brain state would shift and so did my thoughts.

Afterwards I heard myself, inside my own head, say things like:

* "This is so fun."

* "Oh! You know what? We should _______ (insert brilliant idea here)."

* "Sucks to be cold, but I'm so looking forward to a new, even better, furnace!"

* "Wow. We've done so many cool things."

* "Aw. We got so many love letters from clients and students this week! I love them."

So not-dark!

I Also Did Not Support Myself

The thing about Emotional Sovereignty is, just because you know how to shift your brain state doesn't mean you have to.

Sometimes I didn't want to feel better and didn't particularly need to, so I didn't.

I Eeyored and harumphed around, not bothering a soul. I listened to a podcast instead of working my feelings, or took a walk and didn't do anything intentional to shift my neurochemistry. I didn't take a bath or do anything else to help me feel better.

My thoughts were dark and I knew why.

I thought to myself:

"Woah, these are some seriously state-specific thoughts, and when I feel better I will think better-feeling thoughts, but for now, it's okay that I think everything sucks."

Sometimes life intervened in a lovely way.

Like the night I was grumbling around and then the Northern Lights put on a show, and Nathan and Echo and I stood on our balcony and oohed and aahed.

And then Romy invited me to a last-minute opportunity to see one of my all-time favorite writers, David Sedaris, with her and we walked through the gorgeous night to laugh til our cheeks hurt.

Sometimes life intervened in a not-lovely way.

Like when we got a surprise legal invoice for some copyright help we got back in early 2024 with an unexpected $2400 total. And I added that to my list of gripes and continued my harrumphing with no intention of even trying to feel better.

No one has to feel better if they don't want to.

Today the new furnace arrived.

I met technician Jacob at the door and wasn't even slightly mad that he was there at the crack of dawn and early. He was a welcome sight.

And now the house is warm.

Instead of a shell filled with icy air, we once again have a cozy den. My shoulders have dropped away from my ears and I'm only wearing one sweater!

One sweater, same earrings.

Will I go into Survival Mode or Emotional Mode even though our house is now warm?

Absolutely.

The warm house will encourage greater nervous system safety. and my neurochemistry won't be as vulnerable to external stress, but I'll still find elements of my life stressful. I'll still hate some things or have bad days, and that's okay.

The goal isn't to stay in an Executive Brain State all the time. That's not even a thing. The goal for those of us working our Emotional Sovereignty is brain state agility, not stasis. We aim to be nimble and in charge. Moving out of a Survival state and through an Emotional state efficiently anytime we need to, or just want to.

Tomorrow morning, I might step in cat puke after waking up from a stress dream, or pinch my finger in the chicken gate, or get some unexpected unwelcome news. My Emotional or Survival Brain will take over and my thoughts will go cloudy: "This is the worst day. Poor me. Why does everything have to suck."

That's just life. It's always lifin'.

And I may support myself with my tools, or I may not. That's my prerogative.

(That word really is spelled that way. I don't remember that spelling from the music video, do you?)

We simply can't make our houses (or lives) permanently cozy enough to avoid all of the emotions, stress, and accompanying thoughts, but we can know what to do with stress and feelings, and when to believe our thoughts.

Anyway.

If you want the tools to support yourself when you want, (or the tools you can ignore completely when you want), we got you covered. (Email love@centerforemotionaleducation.com if you'd like us to send you our course catalog... 😉)

From our now comfy home to yours, we're cheering for you.

Can You Believe This is on Sale? 👀

It seemed to be super useful for so many folks in our community last year and we had such a lovely time, ourselves, doing it that we decided to do a year-end discount-thingy again. Which means the Center is having a...

Today - Saturday!
November 11- 15, 2025

Discount automatically applied at checkout!

• Resilience-building Self-care

• Emotional Intelligence Development

• Personal and Career Growth

• Resonant Emotional Support

These kinds of things so rarely go on sale.

But at the Center for Emotional Education, some our main values are generosity, inclusion, and loyalty — so last year we were like, "We could have a sale for our people if we want to...". 

If you've been wanting to get in on some (more!) of the goodness happening over here, we hope this will help make it more doable for you right now. 


P.S. Just a heads up that we'll be featuring a different part of our catalogue each day of the sale, so we'll see you tomorrow! 😉

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Our Offerings

Level 1 Offerings:

• Feeleez Matching Game and Poster
  Thoughtfully designed, image-based set of emotional-literacy tools that uses unlabeled, hand-drawn illustrations to make naming, processing and, co-regulating feelings accessible and fun for kids (and the adults who support them).

• Charts and Cheatsheets
  Streamlined, neuroscience-informed reference tools you can use on-the-go to track brain states, apply NeuroEmotional Coaching™ strategies, and anchor your nervous-system regulation and Emotional Sovereignty practices.

• Dear EQ, What Do I Do?
  Interactive Q&A series where real emotional challenges meet neuroscience-backed, emotionally intelligent guidance—helping you understand what’s happening in your brain and what to actually do about it in the moment.

Level 2 Offerings:

• Fight without Fighting (mini-course)
  Practical, neuroscience-based strategies for transforming conflict into connection by understanding brain states, co-processing emotions, and communicating without escalation or shutdown.

• Better at Boundaries (mini-course)
  Communicate your needs clearly, and create boundaries that cultivate connection and that feel safe, kind, and sustainable for everyone involved.

Level 3 Offerings:

• The Snuggle Class (8 hour workshop) Self-paced version
  Bring your sensual and relational life into vibrancy by using Emotional Sovereignty tools to build safety, deepen connection, and transform nervous-system anxiety around intimacy.

• Better at Boundaries Master Class (8 hour workshop) Self-paced version
  Intensive training that brings the tools of Emotional Sovereignty to the art of boundary setting—so you can reclaim your limits with clarity, stay connected without over-giving, and live from grounded self-respect.

• Support Fundamentals (8 hour workshop)Self-paced version
  Learn to recognize brain states, regulate the nervous system, and offer state-appropriate support—so you can help others feel safe, seen, and empowered without losing yourself in the process.

Level 4 Offerings:

• Emotional Sovereignty School 
  In-depth, neuroscience-based program that guides you to develop agency around your feelings and experience by understanding your brain states, rewiring survival patterns, and cultivating true inner stability—so you can meet life’s challenges with clarity, compassion, and power.

• NeuroEmotional Coach Training 
  Career development program that teaches you to integrate neuroscience, emotional co-processing, and trauma-informed communication into your coaching or therapeutic practice — so you can help clients regulate their nervous systems, resolve emotional blocks, and create lasting brain change.

Level 5 Offerings:

• Advanced Certification as NeuroEmotional Coach and Educator 
  Immersive training program that empowers you to embody the full NeuroEmotional Coaching™ model, design and deliver your own workshop structures, and become a leader who transforms high-achiever overwhelm into lasting Emotional Sovereignty and embodied resilience.

Surprising Reason Your Goals Haven’t Landed

How is today going for you?  Is it matching up with your hopes, expectations, and/or dreams?

We really want to know.

This question is important, because so many of us have a good sense of what we want.

• We even have Pinterest boards filled with particulars!

• We have exact numbers in mind for what we want to earn.

• We have movies we come back to again and again because the relationships portrayed are #relationshipgoals.

We work hard at these goals.
We keep a positive mind set – as best we can.
 

But for so many of us, getting to these goals just isn't happening fast enough.

[Cue the bugles or the superhero music...]

It's time for the big reveal as to why it can be so hard to get what we want, even when we try really hard.

Take a look at this image below. You're that little stick-figure climbing, falling, jumping, meditating, cursing, hoping – trying so hard to get to that beautiful thing you want way up there.

But the dream is still out of reach.

We've been working in this field – helping folks rewire their brains to be better at feelings so they can finally get what they want – for nearly twenty years.

And you know what's became painfully obvious during that time?

What you want isn't out of reach
- or weird
- or selfish
- or "too much"
– or unrealistic.

It's just currently beyond your nervous system capacity. On a sub-conscious level, what you want just simply reads as "out of the comfort zone".
 

Remember: your nervous system is not an idiot.

It's whole job is to protect you from anything that might be threatening.
(Even your own dreams.)

So what do we do?

Well, we get a ladder.

It's not made of wood or steel, or punishing work, or random luck.
 

It's made of neurochemicals.

Your brain utilizes many systems, but the Survival, Emotional, and Executive Systems are super key, and these are each run by certain sets of neurochemicals.

One of these systems (and it's neurochemicals) is reaally f-ing good at getting what you want.
 

Can you guess which one it is?

That's right, your Executive System!

Whatever it is that you want:

• connection

• money

• time 

• freedom

• creativity

• you name it

It's the Executive System that's going to get you there.

The best part is that you can build your own ladder.

We can give you the blueprint.

But every human has the innate ingredients to build their own neurochemical ladder to the land of plenty.

How?

Mixing metaphors here, it's a good idea to start thinking of your brain like parts on a car. Each part has particular needs if it's going to run well. When we service our brain regularly with the brain equivalent of oil, gas, and tire pressure, it can take us to magnificent places!

Each system in the brain needs daily servicing.

Survival System:

Keep it "oiled up" with physical safety, food, water, movement, etc.. 
When it overheats, cool it back down with body-based or orientation-based support tools like those we teach in our classes.
 

Emotional System:

Keep it "gassed up" with regular expressing, witnessing, and empathy around feelings.
When it overheats, bring in the tenderness, curiosity, and welcome touch. 
 

Executive System:

Get going!!
Dream up a destination and follow your map!

When we're diligent with our brain maintenance, we naturally climb the ladder to our Executive System – where not only can we imagine what we want, we are a neurochemical match for both creating it and receiving it.

Everything we do here at the Center is focused on helping folks build their ladder. 

You could pick anything from our menu and get started right away.

---

If you're looking for a particularly potent and exciting way to build your ladder – you might want to join us on this retreat.

April 19-25, 2026

Pura Vida Wellness Center
Yelapa, Mexico

(more details here!)

This retreat is for powerful duos who love doing cool, magical, science-leveraged personal growth stuff!

And remember!

You have a little more time to get in on the super sweet early bird 🐦‍⬛  special!

Interested?

(You can start with a deposit and figure the rest out later.)

Place your deposit on, or before November 4th and get a spa treatment of your choice – on us.

You can place your $500 deposit here to save your spot.

And as always, no matter how you choose to "build your ladder", we're cheering for you.

---

We can jump on the phone to talk about the retreat if you like!

What Money Messages Are Running Your life?

It's us again!

Your favorite scientific yet hippie, sovereign yet sensitive, witchy yet pragmatic, alternative yet down-to-earth, neuroemotional nerds!

To be totally transparent here, this is the third out of four blog posts we're sending you in which we geek-out about the neuroscience of manifestation  and invite you to our insanely divine retreat in April.

And...
 

In all honesty, each time we sit down to write one of these, we feel a little discomfort. 

It's like setting the most beautiful table, earnestly laboring over, preparing, and cooking up magnificent dishes we think everyone will adore, putting on our gold eye-shadow, and donning stellar outfits, and then having to sit in the vulnerability of waiting for our guests to arrive.

It's not easy!

Why?

Dude, programming is no joke!

We both got all sorts of messages that told us:

• To reveal our true selves is dangerous.

• To try hard is not cool.

• To do a really good job is actually risky because you open yourself up to criticism for being good at things.

• And on and on...

Early messaging is powerful.
It can detrimentally affect every aspect of our lives.

But even powerful messaging can be rewritten.

("re-wired" for you fellow neuro-nerds)

How do we know?

• We now send out gorgeous vulnerable letters to our community at least once a week.

• We put our actual faces on camera several times a week.

• We host international retreats and frolic in our bathing suits every year.

• We host people from all over the world in months-long certifications in which we cry, have imperfect deliveries, and drink our warm regulating beverages from cups that are as old as our relationship.

The proof is in the pudding, baby!

VULNERABILITY DOESN’T STOP US ANYMORE

Despite the early training we got to pay it safe, and blend in.

We'll be unlocking inhibitive messaging during our retreat, and implanting new wiring around getting to be and have all that we've ever wanted.
 

But what stops most people from signing up for an opportunity like this is...
 

the limiting patterns and beliefs around money they picked up from early messaging.
 

So, do you want to play a little game?

Want to find out what subconscious money-wiring has historically gotten in your way? (And may be getting in your way, right this second?)

Circle the number if it’s something you heard, were taught, or was modeled for you:

1. Money comes from working hard.

2. Having too much money makes you a bad person.

3. We have exactly what we need, no more, no less.

4. Don’t let anyone know how much we have.

5. There’s never enough.

6. You’re not good with money.

7. You spend it as fast as you make it.

8. Money is the root of all evil.

9. You need to marry rich.

10. Money doesn’t grow on trees (isn’t easy to get).

11. Money changes people.

12. It’s okay to spend money on [insert a family value here].

13. I’s not okay to spend money on [insert opposite of family value here].

14. If you scrimp and save you may be able to pull it off.

15. Money comes, money goes!

16. You only live once, enjoy yourself!

17. All you do is take, take, take.

18. Let someone else manage that for you.

19. Money is really complicated.

20. You’re greedy.

21. You’re stingy.

22. It is more blessed to give than to receive.

23. You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.

24. Wealth consists of not having great possessions, but in having few wants.

25. Poverty is a virtue.

26. The more you learn, the more you earn.

27. If you have time to rest, you have time to work.

28. Early bird gets the worm.

29. Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.

30. Nothing worthwhile comes easily.

31. A fool and his money are soon parted.

32. _____________________ [fill in what was modeled for you!]

(Click here to print this list out for yourself)

Are any of these messages embedded inside you?

• How has this messaging informed your money behavior?

• Does your net income (how much you have after subtracting the cost of working for it) line up with the messaging?

• Do you want this messaging to keep deciding how your money flow goes?

I (Natalie) recently realized my family taught me it was only ok to spend money on your house, or fruit. WOAH! This is important intel (says the woman who spent $100 on one big batch of blueberries last month) if I want to feel comfortable spending on other things – like travel, parties, self-care, clothes, or even a new car (gasp!).

In my extensive explorations, I (Nathan) clocked the fact that  between my early religious education and my own "survivors of the Great Depression" family mindset, I learned a) that money itself was the root of all evil, and b) living spartanly, and self-sufficiently, with a strong anti-waste lean was the only way to actually be a good person. This meant that for a good portion of my life I was blocking the flow of money coming to me, and I was stopping up the equally important flow of money coming through me. Both were vital shifts to make so I could allow abundance into my life, and to travel through me to others in my life.

Bottomline: We don't want to live according to our old messages.

We've been using our NeuroMagnetic Besties Retreat curriculum to help dismantle our old programming.

And wow...

It's rad..

Let's just say we're doing a lot less doing, and getting way better results –

• Surprise financial abundance – unrelated to working harder!

• Easier, more fulfilling connection with our most important people – without self-sacrifice!

• Big picture clarity, and precise effective action that is now saving us thousands per month!

We're all good at manifesting what our default programming has determined as "okay".

If our early messaging said it's only okay to work hard, and stay vigilant, we do  — earning just what we need to stay safe (not too rich! not too poor!) hustling on the work-hard-hamster wheel forever. Manifestation achieved!

If our early messaging said money is complicated and we should put someone else in charge, we do — we give over to someone "good with money", live on a vague "allowance", spend unconsciously, and try to remind ourselves to be grateful (despite the growing unease, or resentment). Manifestation achieved!

If we want to manifest something contrary to our early messaging…

We have to update our nervous system.

And really, what better way to do that than within a highly-curated container informed by leading-edge neuroscience, and 20 years of proven success?

And in one of the most protected, exquisite places on planet earth?

And with your best friend?

April 19-25, 2026

Pura Vida Wellness Center
Yelapa, Mexico

(more details here!)

We'll use our time together to dismantle the old messaging that's getting in the way, and recalibrate our entire system to be a match with what we actually want – no matter how far-fetched that "want" may feel from here.
 

It's a week-long retreat, but a months-long manifestational container. 

• In the weeks leading up, you'll get support through in-person sessions, foundational videos, as well as daily journaling practices that are customized specifically for you and what you're calling in.

• While in Mexico, you'll be in deep immersion, practicing how to receive care, abundance, and attention -  from juice delivered to your hands while you swish in the saltwater pool, to spa treatments, to gourmet meals.

• During afternoon workshops, we'll leverage our trademark Emotional Sovereignty tools to clear the NeuroMagnetic path to what you desire.

• After we return, we'll keep the magic alive with a community session as well as continuing journal practices that help to myelinate the changes to your nervous system.

You will not be the same after this.
 

Track your starting point because you can expect huge shifts!

(And they will likely start as soon as you place your deposit, so keep an eye out for winks from the universe that you're on the right track!)

This retreat is for powerful duos who love doing cool, magical, science-leveraged personal growth stuff!

Send this blog post to your bestie and play the checklist activity above.
IS THEIR HISTORICAL MESSAGING WORKING AGAINST THEM?

And remember!

There is one more week to get in on the super sweet early bird 🐦‍⬛  special!

Interested?

(You can start with a deposit and figure the rest out later.)

Place your deposit on, or before November 4th and get a spa treatment of your choice – on us.

• Fancy a massage?

• Or Watsu session? 

It's yours.
Complimentary!

(Did you get some messaging around not spending money on "frivolous" things like self-care? Maybe a *free* massage is a way to baby-step your nervous system into giving self-care the green light!)

You can place your $500 deposit here to save your spot.

A luxury retreat in Mexico with your bestie…

Where you get to fully relax and frolic…

While dissolving the nervous system barriers to your greatest desires?
LITERALLY, WHAT COULD BE BETTER?

Not to be too on the nose, but...

For fellow smart-witchy-snowflakes that are tired of the ol' hypervigilance dance, and ready to live into their birthright of divine calm, ease, and empowerment, it doesn't get any better than this.

---

Want to talk about how your early messaging is getting in your way?
Let's do it!

 We'd love to explore your particular nervous system and team up to see what's right for you.

Are You Good at Receiving?

As the outer world takes some twists and turns we do not like, we've been very seriously digging into our interior world.

Not as escapism.

But as creation.

We know – we can't manifest the dream vision we have for the world and for ourselves if our insides aren't a match.

The nervous system is predictive – it expects what's familiar.

Even and sometimes especially when our intention is the opposite.

Obviously we all want peace, connection, and abundance (among other things!), but sometimes our nervous system has an opposing "opinion" about getting them.

Want to play a cool game?
 

Find out how your nervous system really feels about getting what you want.

Things That Are Received/Asked For

• compliments

• birthday wishes

• gifts

• paychecks

• eye-contact

• event invites

• inheritance

• rent

• payments

• raises

• refunds

• help

• due payment

• attention

• favor

• feedback

• tips

• advice

• applause

• blessings

• special deal

• information

• seconds

• a raise

• intimacy

• more time

• cooperation

• advocacy

• company

• donation

• touch

• sales of your product

• booking of your services

• phone calls

• food

• to be paid your rate

• visits from friends or neighbors

• special accommodations

• to be prayed for

• to be listened to

• loan

How to play this diagnostic game:

1. Look at the list above.

2. Put each item into the category "Comfortable" or "Uncomfortable". If asking for the item is different for you than receiving it, you can split the two parts into different categories.

3. Do not overthink this.  If there is discomfort above, say, a level 3 (out of 10), put that item in the uncomfortable category for now because your nervous system signals a degree of stress or discomfort around that item.

4. Do not gauge "how far you've come". You've come far! You get major high-fives for that. Totally. But to get a clear sense of reactivity right now, we don't want a comparison, we want current data.
 

What did you find out?

• Are there any patterns you're noticing?

• Are some things easier to receive than to ask for?

• How do you feel about the length of each list you compiled?

Here's a little secret...

We've been using our NeuroMagnetic Besties Retreat curriculum with the data we got from playing this categorizing game.

And the results are...

Astounding.

In 30 days of working the curriculum in a concentrated way, sudden, surprising, unexpected results have come through in various, but very specific forms.
(Want details? Just reply to this email and ask!)

How we subconsciously feel about actually getting what we cognitively want is good information to know, because...

We can't manifest what our nervous system is protecting against!

April 19-25, 2026

Pura Vida Wellness Center
Yelapa, Mexico

We'll use our time together to get our internal landscape in precise alignment with what we most desire.
 

This manifestational container is exquisite, potent, and comprehensive.

• In the weeks leading up, you'll get support through in-person sessions, foundational videos, as well as daily journaling practices that are customized specifically for you and what you're calling in.

• While in Mexico, you'll be in deep immersion, practicing how to receive care, abundance, and attention -  from juice delivered to your hands while you swish in the oceanwater pool, to spa treatments, to gourmet meals.

• During afternoon workshops, we'll leverage our trademark Emotional Sovereignty tools to clear the NeuroMagnetic path to what you desire.

• After we return, we'll keep the magic alive with a community session as well as continuing journal practices that help to myelinate the changes to your nervous system.

You will not be the same after this.
 

Expect huge shifts in your ability to both expand and receive.

This retreat is for duos who are making the big shifts —

Working to manifest what has yet to materialize.

Whatever the two of you are calling in...

• More time

• More sensuality

• More passive income

• A new perfect-for-you relationship....

This retreat is your accelerator! 
 

Interested?

(You can start with a deposit and figure out the rest later.)

There are just two weeks left to get in on the early bird bonus 🐦‍⬛ and get a spa treatment of your choice – on us.

• Fancy a massage?

• Or Watsu session? 

It's yours.
ComplimentaryI

(What a great way to practice receiving!)

You can place your $500 deposit here to save your spot.

A luxury retreat in Mexico with your bestie…
Where you get to fully relax and frolic…
While dissolving the nervous system barriers to your greatest desires?
LITERALLY, WHAT COULD BE BETTER?

This is easily the most potent seven days of our calendar year, and we'd love to share it with you.

---

Want to check your NeuroMagnetic Alignment?
Let's do it!

We'd love to chat with you about your relationship to "getting what you want" and team up to see what's right for you.

✨ 2026 Retreat Reveal!

It's the big reveal.

We've dreamt up the most epic offering ever, and we want to invite you.

So, with no further ado...

Introducing the Center for Emotional Education's 2026 event of the year!

April 19-25, 2026
Yelapa, Mexico

This is an immersive and transformative manifestational experience for you and your favorite person.

• Best friends

• Partners

• Siblings

• Mothers and daughters

• Other one-of-a-kind relationships

We’re inviting dynamic duos
to step into a sacred adventure where
Emotional Sovereignty and 
Law of Attraction meet.

Here’s the heart of it:

“This retreat is not just about vision boards or positive thinking — it’s about rewiring your emotional brain to believe in what’s possible, with someone by your side who helps your system feel safe enough to believe it too.”

This is an invitation to step into a magical space where you can:

• Find the “missing piece” to the Law of Attraction.

• Get out of Survival Mode and into receptivity.

• Integrate the challenges and foibles of the past that are still holding you back. 

• Leverage Emotional Sovereignty to manifest what you really want.

• Carry the magic home with someone who speaks the same language and uses the same tools.

This retreat is for duos who are both at a yearning-edge —

working to manifest what has yet to materialize.

You're using your powers to call in:

• The ideal job

• Passive income

• The perfect-for-you relationship

• A new business, or new level in business

• Time-freedom

• An enticing challenge – sobriety, fitness, longevity

• More fun, ease, joy, you name it!

And you've been waiting for a key you didn't even know you needed. 

We're opening up registration to the wider public in just a few weeks. You have until then to claim the early-bird bonus! 🐦‍⬛

Those who grab a spot right away get a spa treatment of your choice – on us.

Fancy a massage or Watsu session while we're on retreat? 
It's yours.

Complimentary.

Just for jumping in before we open it up to our broader community and beyond...

Once we share it outside our mailing list, this offer will be gone.

This magnificent adventure has been years in the making.

We can't wait to share it with you.

You can follow this link to read more about:

• The relationship between manifestation and Emotional Sovereignty (it's the key!)

• The support (before, during, and after retreat)

• The location (a precious, unique, unparalleled place, owned by indigenous families)

• The venue (right on the shore, oceanwater pool, jacuzzi, yoga deck – with a light footprint)

• The accommodations (the rooms are works of art)

• The food (fresh, local, organic, yummy, and digestion-friendly)

• and more.

---

Want to know more?
Book a complimentary NeuroMagnetic Alignment Call to discuss!

We can’t wait to co-create this adventure with you! We're going to redefine epic.

Already know you're in alignment?

October's Emotional Forecast May Surprise You....

The other night we were telling our daughter about something our dear friend and colleague had shared with us about the concept of a "progressed moon" in astrology — and then our daughter said, admiringly, "Gosh, there are always new ways to be a hippie, aren't there?".
 

We looked at each other, took a sip of our respective kombucha or cacao cocktail, and grinned.

Call it hippie or call it Earth-wise.
Call it woo-woo, call it aware, or call it just plain weird.

We don't ____ing care.

We love the crossroads between the invisible realms and science.

So here's a dose of both 😉:

• How the stars might affect your emotions this month

• What you can do about it
   

🌦️ Emotional Weather Forecast
October

Theme of the Month: Communication & Emotion

October’s skies stir up our inner tides. This month asks us to find the balance between what we say and what we feel. Sensitivity and patience will be key to navigating this time period well.

At the Aries Full Moon (Oct 6–7), conversations may seem more charged, words sharper than intended. Messages fly fast, and misunderstandings are likely.

NeuroEmotional Strategies for Success:

• Take a few regulating breaths before speaking, especially your truth. (Hint: this means an exhale that is twice as long as your inhale.)

• Wiggle your toes and get some body awareness before responding, particularly to words that rubbed you the wrong way.

• Nod or make an understanding sound effect until/unless you have another reply that feels aligned.

Mid-Month: Longing & Relationship Currents

By the second week, relationship matters rise in importance. Venus reminds us of our longing – not just for connection, but for self-realization. This is fertile ground for honest conversations in partnership. Approach with sincerity, and what you plant now can bear abundant fruit.

The Libra New Moon (Oct 21) is your invitation to beauty, harmony, and grace. 

NeuroEmotional Strategies for Success:

• Be mindful of brain states. The Survival System is wired for protection, not connection.

  • If your partner is:

    • moving fast

    • not making eye contact

    • or, answering in monosyllables...

  • Wait to discuss your relationship!

• Purposely meet your need for beauty, even if it's on a very small scale (such as the arrangement of your food on your plate).

Late October: The Floodgates Open

As the Sun enters Scorpio and a grand water trine (Oct 24–28) forms, emotions may flow with extraordinary force. Suppressed feelings may surge to the surface. If you find yourself swept up, don’t fight the current.

Jupiter’s influence suggests eventual positive developments, but first comes chaos, surrender, and the reminder that boundaries can be porous when Neptune is involved.

NeuroEmotional Strategies for Success:

• Notice your feelings (feel free to complain, vent, and describe where and how they're coming up).

• Name the feelings out loud to yourself — is it "tenderness" or "anxiety" or "secret resentment", etc., and then specifically, is it "worry", "concern", or "panic", etc. — find the right words for the emotions and repeat them.

• Say loving and empathetic things to yourself that validate and show understanding for these feelings.

• Once you sense you are free of the messy-entanglement of the stories surrounding the feelings (you may notice your breath has calmed and deepened, or your perspective has become more optimistic), clarify your decisions and take action.

The Emotional Month-at-a-Glance

• Early October → Practice regulated speech. Dig deep and/or wait for patience before speaking or acting.

• Mid-Month → Explore your longings. Share them with those that are in the brain state (Executive, if you please) to connect with you.

• New Moon (Oct 21) → Invite beauty in, and feel the enjoyment.

• Late October → Explore your emotions instead of suppressing them, listen to what they say and respond with empathy.

💡 Forecast in a sentence: October is an emotionally charged month where communication and relationships are tested. But with patience, connection, beauty and empathy, the storms will irrigate the soil for even deeper growth.

Want support for October?

Here are some great options from the Center for Emotional Education:

Ride the waves with a professional

Humans aren't meant to navigate emotion alone. You deserve your own NeuroEmotional Coach who will support you with tools to use in session and outside session.

Use the button below to schedule a powerful conversation with one of our coaches about where you are now and where you really want to be – this month and beyond. And if it's right for you, find out more about 1:1 support. On us!

–> Join "Dear EQ, What Do I Do?"

Dear EQ, What Do I Do? is a monthly group coaching opportunity where we explore the most emotionally intelligent ways to navigate life's challenges.

This month's session is October 22nd, 11am Pacific

(You'll also receive our entire catalog of previous sessions when you join! Talk about "inviting beauty in"...)

Emotional Intelligence (EQ): The way forward in hard times

So now we have to ask you – are you emotionally intelligent enough to survive the apocalypse?

Juuuuust kidding!
(but only kinda-sorta!)

The ability to read, feel, and integrate emotion is in.
(And needed now more than ever!)

Mis-reading, stuffing, and reacting to emotion is out.
(Any examples of this come to mind lately?)

So, the real bajillion dollar question that just might save our species, is....
 

How do we teach emotional intelligence?

1. Model, Model, Model

Emotional intelligence is not learned via pen and paper, or by lengthy lectures from Mom and Dad. Thanks to mirror neurons, if we model healthy emotional expression, our children pick it up – just like walking and talking.

We can:

• Identify frustration when the garbage cans block the driveway.

• Express our nervousness and insecurity when it bubbles up before a holiday party.

• Stop saying “I’m fine,” when we’re actually feeling worry or irritation.

• Stop waiting to be alone before we shed tears.

Tax bills, divorce, wars, and scary politics do not belong in the realm of the innocent, it’s true. And, living our emotional life out loud doesn't mean always revealing the adult material behind our woes. We can express sadness, anxiety, anger, disappointment, or fear without sharing age-inappropriate details.

Here's a sample exchange that emotes and protects:

“What’s wrong, Mama?”

“I’m feeling some anxiety right now.”

“Oh. You’re crying?”

“Yep. I feel some sadness, too.”

“Are you okay?”

“I am okay. I’m taking good care of myself and good care of you, and I’m feeling feelings at the same time.”

A parent that cries when they feel sadness, names their emotion, and continues to care for themselves and others is an emotional leader. This kind of modeling teaches children to effectively use their Emotional System, the most efficient and powerful way to manage the ups and downs of life.

2. Don’t Fix

When our children are upset, we often find ourselves willing to do almost anything to make the crying or screaming stop.

“MOM! I dropped my cookie and the dog ate it! Dumb dog! Waaaaaah!”

“Oh, honey! It’s okay! Honey, stop crying! We have more cookies. Look! Here’s a new cookie! Really, it’s okay. It’s not a big deal.”

When the upset doesn’t stop, even though we’ve come up with a perfectly logical solution to the problem, it’s can be so confusing – until you understand how emotions work.

Feelings don’t get fixed.

When emotion shows up, the logical, trouble-shooting Executive System takes a coffee break (it doesn't do emotion!) and the Emotional System takes the lead. If there is a trusted person willing to hold space for the emotion, the emotion surfaces, is processed, and then lightens and lifts.

The Emotional System hates it when we approach emotional situations with logical solutions.

It’s like being shouted at in a foreign tongue. It’s simply not the right language for emotional processing. And it often comes across as antagonistic, not soothing and safe.

When the Emotional System is asked to do logic, instead of emotion, it joins the Executive System on that coffee break, and cues the Survival System to jump in and do what it does best: Fight, go into Flight, Freeze and shut down, or lie, cheat, and steal (Appease) in order to get back to safety.

For all our sakes, we need to get comfortable with our discomfort when our kids are upset. Emotion is a friend, not a foe, and we can prove that to our kids by not pushing them to avoid emotion with logical fixes.

3. Connect, Connect, Connect

If we're not hiding our own emotion, and we're not fixing theirs, what are we doing?

We’re providing connection around emotion.

All we have to do is notice an emotion, help name that emotion, and express understanding for that emotion.

In practical terms it looks like this:

Notice: “The dog ate your cookie?”

Name: “Shoot! How do you feel about that?”

Connect: “Darn it! That’s not what you wanted!”

Notice: “You're saying you don’t have anyone to hang out with at school?”

Name: “How is that for you? Do you feel some loneliness, sadness, anger...?”

Connect: “Sounds like you really don't like that. It feels good to be with people you enjoy, huh?”

Notice: “Your sister has the water bottle you want to use?”

Name: “I see. Feeling some frustration, huh? You both want the same one.”

Connect: “Shucks. You really wanted to use that.”

We can leave space around the emotion instead of trying to tidy it up too quickly. And ask open-ended curiosity questions like:

• How long have you felt this way?

• Have you ever felt this way before?

• Where do you notice it in your body?

• What's the ________ (feeling they named) like?

Let them describe the emotion to you and then empathize some more. If it's welcome, you can augment the sense of connection with eye contact, proximity, and static touch.

What about adults?

Right?! It's not just children that need or want to develop more emotional intelligence!

The same steps apply whether we're working with our own emotion, or the emotions another human being is experiencing!

• Model

• Don't Fix

• Connect

At first, it can be kinda effortful to identify what feelings we're feeling. Initially we may only be able to name a few basics, like “frustration” or “worry.” But the more we look, the more varied shades of emotion will emerge. The process of getting to know oneself and love oneself at this level is new and unfamiliar, but with practice we’ll definitely get better at it.

We can do this.

We can raise our children and ourselves to use emotions to all of our advantage.

We can nurture robust Emotional Systems that not only help us through even the darkest hours, but also build meaningful relationships based on true connection.

Emotional smarts help us stay steady, together.

Empathy Schmimpathy… Why Bother?! The Value of Teaching Children Empathy

To be frank, we’re reeling from the latest developments in our country. Violence has no place in our politics, and yet it keeps striving for one... We keep soothing, and processing, and strategizing ways to meet the needs of this moment. And we keep coming back to this:

Empathy is the antidote to the wrongs of the world. Its absence lies at the root of most challenges.

(To be clear, we're talking mostly about Cognitive Empathy, here. Not just the Affective kind that happens to us automatically, when we wince at someone else's pain... But the perspective-taking, understanding one another's intentions and motives, "walk a mile in each other's shoes" kind of empathy.)

So as a tribute to courageous empathy...

Here are seven reasons empathy is the most important thing we can teach our children:
 

1. Empathy is the root of social guidelines.

The vast majority of laws, moral codes, and family rules are ultimately about considering others. Teaching empathy bridges the gap between instinctive, self-focused infants and compassionate, “more civilized” adults. When we know how to understand another's experience, we need far less guidance about not mistreating each other.
 

2. Our brains are wired for empathy.

We are born with mirror neurons  that automatically simulate the movements, expressions, and emotions of those around us. When a child sees a smile, their brain briefly rehearses making one, giving them a felt sense of the other person’s experience (that's Affective Empathy). This natural mechanism underlies our ability to interpret emotions, but it needs to be reinforced by receiving empathetic support in childhood in order to build it into an ability to better understand others (through Cognitive Empathy).
 

3. Empathy entrains the brain.

When a baby cries, the parent’s Emotional System lights up in sync with their baby, preparing them to respond. The parent’s calm, empathetic response not only helps soothe the baby in the moment, it also teaches the infant's brain how to genuinely self-soothe and, over time, how to respond to others with empathy, too.

This part happens wordlessly — without a single lesson on why it’s important or on how to act with empathy. The same way one learns their native language.
 

4. Empathy supports full-brain development.

The brain has three key systems we talk about a lot:

• The Survival System, which keeps us alive.

• The Emotional System, which governs feelings and social behavior.

• The Executive System, which enables problem-solving, creativity, compassion, and more.

When kids are upset, the Survival and Emotional Systems take over, and they lose access to higher reasoning and functioning. Empathy helps them move through the storm of feelings and return to an Executive state — and repeated experiences of empathy grow their capacity to spend more time there.
 

5. Empathy creates safety.

When children feel our empathy, they know they're safe – both in the world and inside themselves – even when emotions feel overwhelming. That sense of safety is foundational for emotional regulation, resilience, and secure bonds.
 

6. Empathy gives parents superpowers.

Empathy can diffuse conflicts, dissolve resistance, and heal hurts. It recharges our own nervous systems, helping us find patience and compassion we didn’t know we had. And neuroscience shows that offering empathy not only helps our children — it rewires our brains toward more compassionate, balanced responses at the same time.
 

7. Empathy turns struggle into opportunity.

Every meltdown or conflict becomes a chance for connection, healing, and trust-building. Empathy tells our children’s brains: you are safe, you are loved, and your full humanity is welcome here. That bond lays the groundwork for cooperation, connection, and deeper relationship for years to come.


We focused this one mostly on parents, but you don't have to save up your empathy for just your (or others') kids! Sprinkle it around like faery dust! Because, even though they're all grown up, empathy works on the brains of adults just as well.

Go gently, natural born empathizers.

What to Eat When Your Nervous System is Fried

Guess what kind of food is best?

FOOD IN GENERAL!

Sorry to "yell", but many of us get thrown into Survival Mode just because it's been hours since our last meal and the nutrient tank is running dry!

When the body doesn't have enough resources, it decides for us that higher levels of functioning should be put on pause, and it's time to just get by until things get better.
 

Does this ever happen to you? 

It happens to us, too.

In these instances, we recommend eating anything that's available until you can get to food you really want. 

But when planning that grocery list or getting started on dinner — we can set ourselves up for less Survival Mode, and less intense emotion as well, when we give our body foods that support the nervous system. 

So here's a good list to inspire meal planning for the nervous system!

Magnesium-rich foods:

• Leafy greens (spinach, kale)

• Nuts (almonds, cashews, pecans)

• Seeds (pumpkin seeds, flaxseeds)

• Whole grains (brown rice, quinoa)

These are good sources of magnesium, which plays a role in nervous system regulation and reducing stress. 

Our Magnesium Strategy:
We buy big bags of mixed nuts at Costco and stash small ziploc bags of nuts in our backpack, fanny pack, etc.. (I, Nathan, am snacking on pistachios while we write this...)

Omega-3 fatty acids:

• Fatty fish like salmon

• Mackerel

• Sardines

• Avocado

These are excellent sources of omega-3s, which have been linked to reduced anxiety and improved mood. 

Our Omega-3 Strategy:
We don't love working with raw fish too much. So we buy salmon patties, pop them in the oven, and pair them with a big basic salad for quick meals.  We also love putting half an avocado on our bowl of grains and veggies. (We also take a mixed omegas supplement, to get an array of fatty acids.)

Foods containing L-tryptophan:

• Turkey

• Eggs

• Some dairy products (yogurt)

• Tofu

• Lentils

These are rich in L-tryptophan, an amino acid that the body uses to produce serotonin, a neurotransmitter associated with mood stabilization. 

Our L-tryptophan Strategy:
Almost every day we fry up some eggs for lunch because they're fast and simple. If we have some leftover veggies from the night before, we'll throw these in. We also make a regular batch of dahl and throw in chunks of tofu.

Dark chocolate:

• Dark chocolate (70% cocoa or higher) contains flavonoids that research suggests improve brain function and help with stress management. 

Our Chocolate Strategy:
We eat chocolate, of course!
But we also drink cacao sweetened with honey and/or xylitol. We buy it in bulk because we like to drink it almost every day. Our favorite brand is Navitas (we're not an affiliate, but we should be...).

Fermented foods:

• Yogurt

• Kefir

• Sauerkraut

• Kimchi

These contain probiotics that support a healthy gut microbiome, which can impact serotonin, mood, and anxiety levels. 

Our Fermented Food Strategy:
Some of us like sauerkraut and some of us don't, but we all love kombucha! We've been brewing our own for over ten years, which makes it very inexpensive, and once you're in the groove it's easy-peasy to do.

Complex carbohydrates:

• Quinoa

• Brown rice

• Oats

• Sourdough

• Sweet potatoes

These provide a steady release of energy, helping to stabilize blood sugar levels and prevent mood swings. 

Our Carb Strategy:
We like to put one cup of basmati, one cup quinoa, a can of garbanzos, a splash of oil, and some spices and/or herbs in a pot with 4 cups of broth or water, and cook like you normally would rice.

This makes a more exciting grain-pilaf sort of thing that can be topped with whatever you like. We often top with salad, steamed veggies and tofu, and a wedge of avocado. Sauce of your choice can be drizzled on top.

Here's to full bellies, and agile and well-resourced nervous systems!

From our table to yours...

Elsa's Real Secret (and Yours Too)

We recently go into a discussion about what Disney character best symbolized our own journey. 
And after talking about it and musing on it for a bit – we still hate to admit it (just so cliche!) but...

It's Elsa from Frozen.

Yes, the snow queen who belts out “Let It Go.”)

Maybe everyone can secretly relate to Elsa...?

Because here’s the lowdown: Elsa isn’t just a Disney character.

She’s an archetype of what so many of us go through when our natural power and sensitivity feel like "too much".

Here's Elsa's timeline – absolutely rife with Survival Mode!

• She's born with incredible powers, powers she doesn’t understand or know how to wield.

• As a child, she accidentally hurts her sister (Survival Fight).

• Her family hides her away so she won’t hurt anyone. (Their Survival reaction to her Survival reactions...)

• Later, overwhelmed by fear and shame, she lashes out when her sister announces her engagement (Survival Fight), and then flees into isolation (Survival Flight/Freeze).

• Even in her self-created ice palace, she accidentally wounds her sister again (a tangled mix of Survival Fight and Freeze).

Oof, sounds too familiar.

Survival Mode isn't composed or conscientious. It shows up in ways we don’t want, in patterns we don’t choose, and it often hurts the people we love most.

But in the movie... Elsa discovers her truth. She simplifies it down to:  Love is the key.

When she can get back to a place of love, she can use her gifts with clarity, freedom, and joy. 

This is the same arc we guide people through with Emotional Sovereignty work.

Because we're all at least a little bit like Elsa.

We have incredible power, sensitivity, and capacity within us. But until we learn how to work with our nervous system and brain states, those gifts can feel overwhelming and even dangerous, or conversely, muted and out of reach.

As we see it, Emotional Sovereignty is the map for moving from Survival Mode to absolute empowerment.
 

It’s a gorgeous hero’s journey:

✨ From being run by our nervous system, to learning how to work with it.
✨ From reacting in Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Appease, to responding with clarity and agency.
✨ From fearing our emotions, to using them as a source of strength and enrichment.

Just ask our students (and coaches!)...

No one wants to be stuck in an ice castle...

Or in any form of Survival Mode!

Students in Emotional Sovereignty School report an average decrease of 50% in time spent in this debilitating state.

Imagine what becomes possible when you get half your time back!

What about you?

Is your inner-hero spending too much time in Survival Mode?

We'd love to hear from you!
 

What movie archetype are you living out right now?

And...
If you’re ready to write the next chapter of your story...
Emotional Sovereignty School is calling your name!
There's still time for you to enroll in this term, which starts August 28th.

So if you know you're ready (to not just spend a whole lot less time Frozen, or in Fight or Flight, or Appeasing others), here's a wink from your fairy godmother. ✨ Go here ✨ to find out more, check out payment options, and sign yourself up! 

Or

If you're thinking about this, and you're not sure yet, and/or you just want to talk it through with someone, we'd love to offer you a "Testing the Waters" Strategy Session. This is not a sales call. It's just a chance for you find your own alignment and where you can:
– Share your journey thus far.
– Get help identifying where Survival Mode has sabotaged your best intentions.
– Find out how Emotional Sovereignty work might support you and your becoming.


And in any case (whether you ever come to Sovereignty School or not) no matter what, you're definitely our hero!

Your Brain On Transition (and What To Do About It)

What's changing in your world?

Over here in Missoula, Montana, our neighbor Carol's elm is starting to change color. And we hate it!
We love Carol, and her tree, but danggggg, we do not want to shift gears out of Summer-mode.

Is Fall awesome? Yes.
Are there delights in every season? Of course.
Can we get hygge like the best of them? You know it.

But who cares?

Transition still sucks eggs.
It happens a lot.

• Summer to Fall

• High school to college

• Daytime to nighttime

• Awake to asleep 

• Asleep to awake

• Single to married

• Married to single

• Fertile to menopausal

• Working to retired

• Weekend to workday

• Workday to weekend

But no matter how many times it happens...
 

Humans struggle with transition.

Go ahead and test this theory by asking any 6-year old if they want to transition from playing with their Labubu to going to a pool party. 

Transitioning from one thing to anything else, (even something awesome) can invite all sorts of discomfort.
 

Why is transition a challenge?

Dude, it's primal.

We're wired to prefer more predictability than novelty. Change is akin to uncertainty, which to our Survival System, is akin to threat.

Picture the Cro-Magnon version of yourself chilling on a grassy plain, enjoying the breeze. Now picture a shift in the wind, a gamey scent in the air, a rustling in the bushes.... Uh oh! Could be a lion and you might be lunch!

It may not happen every time, but that transition from known (Labubu play) to even slightly unknown (pool party) can be enough to awaken the Survival System. This is when that 6-year old says...

• I HATE pool parties!" - Survival Fight

• [Runs from the room] - Survival Flight

• [Acts like they didn't hear you] - Survival Freeze

• "I'll get ready in five minutes, I promise." (then doesn't) - Survival Appease

But who are we kidding. If we're pointing fingers at 6-year olds, let's be fair and swing that finger around...
 

Think of the times of your life where you struggled.

Was transition involved?

Heck, think of the times you struggled yesterday. Was transition involved?

– Our clients and students often identify the "Witching Hour" between work and dinner, as the moment they tend to "lose their shit".

– Daylight savings?
– Or returning home from somewhere? Anywhere?
 

There's emotional fallout around transition.

We're likely to feel uncomfortable, and that can show up as:

• Overwhelm

• Anxiety

• Dread

• Grief

• Worry

• Frustration

• (You name it)

This is normal.

Standing on the threshold, between what was, and what isn't-quite-yet, is a tough place to be (no matter how long it lasts), and it makes sense to have feelings about it!
 

So what do you do?

Well, if we leave it up to the Survival System...
It will either entrench us in non-change (safe and certain!) or plunge us blindly and hurriedly into the new realm – maybe through force, or whim, or impetuosity. This is the ol' "out of the frying pan into the fire" method. The instinct is super strong to just hurry up and arrive in the next place, instead of suffering at the unknown threshold.

If we leave it up to the Emotional System...
It will inflate and exaggerate what we're leaving behind and what we're heading into. The past chapter will become a rose-colored utopia to cling to, while the next chapter is full of dismaying terrors. Or, conversely, because the Emotional System is fickle like that, this system will decide that the last chapter was "the worst ever", and "good riddance", while the next chapter is going to be heavenly, perfect, and free of all problems. Depending on what feeling we happen to be holding during our time on the threshold, we can swing from dark pessimism to naive optimism – sometimes within moments of each other.

Neither are good options!

Instead, it's time for some Emotional Sovereignty.

We can retrain our brains to have an easier time with transition. Here's how:

1. Notice moments that count as transition.
   Recognize them when they show up, and highlight them ahead of time if possible.

2. Drop into the body.
   What brings awareness or ease back to your physical vessel? Do that. (The Survival System chills out when you do.)

3. Name 2 - 3 feelings.
   Name, out loud, whatever is true for you. (The Emotional System loves when you do this.)

4. Say something kind to yourself.
   Normalize these feelings, show understanding for yourself in them. (The Executive System flicks on when you empathize with your feelings.)

5. Make one small choice that supports this transitional moment.
   Do you need to get your hair off your neck? Take a long gulp of water? Bring something with you?

"Rinse and repeat" as needed.

For bigger transitions*, the threshold is wide, so it may be a good time to call in external help – like a NeuroEmotional Coach – who can support you to increase your Emotional Sovereignty and decrease the Survival and Emotional fallout of your transition.
 

It's wonderful and woeful to be a human.

The human condition is no joke!

Let's all give ourselves a big, enthusiastic, "high five" for doing the best we can – every time we can. 

Here's to you and yours, during your micro and macro transitions. We're in this together for sure.

*If you let us know what big transition you find yourself in:

• New partnership

• New baby

• Launching business

• Empty-nesting

• Divorce

• Mid-life rethink

• Retirement

• Perimenopause

• Career change

• Identity shift

• Loss

• You name it

We'll let you know which coach we think would be the best match for you.

Just email love@centerforemotionaleducation.com and we'll get you sorted. 💛

No wins. No treats. Still better.

I recently had a terrible day... I was very unhappy.

Took a walk. Noticed my mind scanning for something – anything – that would make me feel happier. 

I checked all the externals:

- Was I particularly thin, beautiful, or stylish today? NO
- Did I make some good money today? NO
- Impressive bank account? NO
- Yummy dinner planned? NO
- At least some cheese or sugar waiting? NO

Nothing on the outside was going to do it.

Alas.

I begrudgingly resigned myself to shifting from the inside.

1. Get out of Survival Mode

For 15 minutes I worked tools from Unit 3 of Emotional Sovereignty School:
– 54321 (elaborate version)
– Light Touch
– Regulating Breath
– “Do I have a body?”

2. Work the emotions

By the time I reached the riverbank, I was body-calm enough to use Notice, Name, Touch (Unit 6):
– I named every feeling and let it headline:
WORRY: “I’ll never figure this out.”
FRUSTRATION: “If you have good ideas and work hard, you should win.”
– Etc., etc.
– I followed with empathy, used my name, touched my chest lovingly
– Added breath and anchoring

Then I dove deeper:
– Found the biggest emotions
– Named their catch phrases
– Touched where they lived in my body
– Let them say wild things
– Followed their lead

By the time I reached the roses in the waterwise garden, I felt better, but not buoyant.
I checked for optimism or ideas.

Still nope.

So I doubled down on empathy for 5 more minutes.

3. Offer gentle support

Out of the depths, and having the sense of being seen, I used Unit 11 tools to list easy next steps:
– A couple handfuls of blueberries
– Hair brushing
– Shower + favorite soft PJ set

I knew I was back to my real self when I could tell, even from afar, what my body wanted to eat and what I could make from the pantry.

Still wary I might “fall back in,” I chose a color anchor (Unit 3) and kept breathing all the way to the doorstep.

4. I returned.

Same porch as an hour ago. But now the world – and I – felt different.
– I ate the blueberries.
– Kissed my partner.
– Slowly brushed my hair.
– Negotiated for the good bathroom.
– Made the most delicious dinner.

I changed *nothing* on the outside.
And everything on the inside.

I heart Emotional Sovereignty.
 

And you can have it too!

Feel free to use this recipe I used the other day. 

And if you want more, more, more... Emotional Sovereignty School might be a great fit for you.

In any case, we're sending love!

---

Curious?

Here are the 4 Phases inside Emotional Sovereignty School

August wants your courage 💪

In solidarity as emotional beings, we wanted shared with you this month's emotional weather forecast!

We've blended Astrodienst's brilliance with our own Emotional Sovereignty framework, and the combination is magical.

Enjoy!
 

🌞 August Emotional Forecast

August opens with a lively, sometimes jittery hum in the air... Mercury and the Sun meet in Leo on the 1st, inviting everyone to be a little more talkative, opinionated, and a bit self-focused.

Expect conversations to be plentiful, passionate, and occasionally one-sided.

This is a month for courageous dialogue, even when the questions on the table feel tender or overdue... Venus in Cancer is stirring deep emotional waters, and Saturn is asking for structure and honesty in our relationships. 

Keep in mind:

• Romantic ideals may need a reality check.
• Unspoken expectations will want daylight.

Emotional Sovereignty means remembering that state-specific thinking is real. 

Don't be tricked into believing that things your person says while in Survival Mode, or Emotional Mode, are their deep truth.

      • Stay regulated, soothe your own Survival System.

      • Help shift the collective nervous system.

      • Only determine what's true or make decisions when everyone is back in Executive Mode.

🌕 August Full Moon in Aquarius

The energy peaks with a potent Full Moon on the 9th.

This is the tension between old neural wiring (“stay safe, don’t risk it”) and your nervous system’s craving for new possibilities.

• There is hardly a better time to start manifesting new visions and ideas. 

• Doubt and fear will likely surge, and left unsupported, could put out new sparks.

• It's time to lean into courage, assume your responsibility, and take steps (even small ones). 

Emotional Sovereignty means remembering there is tension between old wiring and new neural habits

Feelings are normal. It's important to listen to them, be with them, but they don't get to design your next chapter.

To gently shift feelings out of the driver's seat, use Notice, Name, Touch™ to:

      • Recognize when emotions are in the mix.

      • Identify them by name.

      • Give them (and you) empathy, understanding, and connection.

💕 Venus meets Jupiter in Cancer

After the intensity, tenderness floods in on August 12th.

Connection feels richer, gratitude deeper, and the bonds we’ve been tending (or mending) have room to bloom.

• Look for ebullience and other deep and intensely delightful emotions.

• New relations and projects started at this time will carry the signature of these emotions.

Emotional Sovereignty means not only staying in connection with our self at all times, but also being available for connection with others.

Connection doesn't happen by accident. Doubling-down on our regulation and staying in-tune while around those we care about, gives them the emotional safety required for them to be vulnerable and open with us – the trademarks of true intimacy.

To connect with others:

      • Go where they are, whether it's the kitchen, or the dance hall, and use regulating techniques.

      • Be available for eye contact.

      • Open your body posture, lower your shoulders.

      • If they say something, empathize and then ask an open-ended question about what they said.

🌑 August New Moon in Virgo

The tone sobers, asking us to integrate what’s been stirred up, with the new moon on the 23rd.

Nervous systems may feel thin-skinned here. Clarity comes only after slowing down enough to really sense what’s shifted.

• Be available to support yourself through nervousness or restlessness.

• You may easily take offense, or cry.

• This is a good time to invest in resilience practices and allow your thoughts to quiet.

Emotional Sovereignty means knowing when it's time to rest and restore.

It's common for emotions to peak and ebb for any number of reasons. Just because we feel a feeling, doesn't mean something's wrong or needs to be addressed. This could be the right moment to jot down the feelings and complaints, and then set that piece of paper aside, and return to it when personal resources are higher.

Resilience practices for restoration:

     • Rest more than usual – naps, quiet time, or more sleeping hours.

      • Eat more complex carbohydrates and foods rich in omega fatty acids.

      • Drink more water than usual.

      • Move more slowly in your daily movements.

🦁 Venus in Leo

Starting the 25th, creative fire, passionate love, and bold female voices color the last days of August.

This is a ripe time to express yourself, let art move through you, or say the thing that’s been burning a hole in your chest. Some connections may get spicier, and go deeper than expected.

• Look for ways to chime in on discussions of social development – your voice is needed.

• Lean into that creative impulse wherever it pops up.

• A sudden love affair may show up! Whatever that may look like for you – don't hesitate.

Emotional Sovereignty means staying with our self, even during busy or invigorating times.

Emotion is stimulating and activating, even (and sometimes especially) those many consider "positive" – like inspiration, motivation, enthusiasm, infatuation. It's easy to sabotage ourselves when things are going well because without some processing, these more sought-after emotions can fill our capacity, and then we overflow and shut down. 

Wire to "withstand " the good stuff:

      • Set a timer on your phone as a reminder to stop what you're doing (even if you're doing fun stuff) and check in with your experience.

      • Orient to your body — what's touching the outside, what sensations are happening on the inside?

      • Without much thought, name 3 feelings. Just see them as neutral entities, and give them a wave.

      • Decide if you need to stop and do some deeper processing, or note emotions that may need to be revisited later, and then carry on!

We hope this helps you consciously and conscientiously navigate the days ahead!

You're the Expert!

Better than the Enneagram.

Better than Human Design.

Better than your astrological chart, your aura, or your Akashic record.

Those tools can be beautiful mirrors.

But Emotional Sovereignty gives you something they can’t:

⭐️ Real-time self-awareness

⭐️ Specific tools for working with how you are right now

⭐️ Agency in owning your authentic truth

It shows you:

✔️ Which part of your brain is currently running the show

✔️ What your habitual patterns mean

✔️ What helps you shift

✔️ What you truly need to be your biggest self

You don’t have to have a cosmic blueprint, or subjugate your identity to someone else’s authority. You just need your own attention, your own body, and the right tools to interpret your signals with compassion and skill.

Because self-knowledge isn’t a fixed sign.

It’s a living, breathing relationship with your nervous system, your history, and your becoming.

You are the expert on you.

And when you have the right tools, you don’t need to outsource your self-knowledge anymore.

That’s what we give you in Emotional Sovereignty School.

And our new free webinar gives you the 3-step framework that starts the process.

(https://www.centerforemotionaleducation.com/3step-cover)

It’s not about typing yourself.

It’s about meeting yourself.

And being able to respond to who you are, moment by moment.

That’s the kind of self-understanding that changes everything.

Not in theory.

In your bones.

In your relationships.

In your work.

In real time.

💛

Feeling some giddy delight over here...

We’re usually pretty laid back folks – but, not today!

Today we’re feeling too much excitement and enthusiasm to be chill.
.

We’ve been working on something super cool and we can’t stop thinking about it!

We’re delivering a 60-minute masterclass all about feeling better without having a bunch more money, or a ton of luxury time, and without unwanted medication.

Instead of sharing some isolated tips or theories, we’ll be outlining our foundational framework.

This is the same framework that has helped our students stop living in Survival Mode, start rewiring old emotional patterns, and become who they truly are.

Our signature program, Emotional Sovereignty School, is open for enrollment right now, and those who attend this free masterclass, will: 

– Learn the 3 major mistakes everyone makes when trying to feel better.
– Get our 3-Step Framework for feeling better, now (not when you’re richer or retired).
– And if you enroll in Emotional Sovereignty School from the masterclass, you'll get our new bonus –
✨Reprogramming 'Done for You' Guided Practice✨.
 

Please choose the time that works best for you.

Click below to register.

Pistachios, blankets, and the secret to everything

(Photo from Nathan of Echo, BobbyJon, and me at one of our favorite river spots.)

Sometimes...
 
When the air is the same temperature as my body,
and I have a blue watery horizon to rest my eyes on,
and maybe there's a thick picnic blanket under my bum,
some pistachio salt on my lips, 
and my river-loving lover's calf is rested gently against my calf...

And...

Even if my mind drifts further out to the rays of light that are my favorite people...
And through the crystal ball of this blissful moment I tune into them,
into their unique immediate worlds, 
and all seems well

I think to myself:
Oh. I've cracked the code to life.
This is what it's about.
I have arrived.

But then...

I love it too much.
I want to bottle it.
Or freeze it.
Or repeat it.
This tiny moment in time where everything on my outside tells my insides that it's ok.

And the wanting to keep it or repeat it, pings my amygdala.
Sends a scrambly old message of urgency and effort to my cells.

Because of course –
soon it won’t be summer.
One of those rays of light might have her heart broken,
or be in a fight with a co-worker,
or miss the important deadline for the important thing.

And sometimes...
There are no pistachios and I don't know what to eat,
And the sheets have been stripped but not yet replaced
and I'm sleepy enough to find this a disaster/emergency,
Or my river-loving lover is too cold for my cold skin to touch.

There will always be moments when my outsides tell my insides that it's not ok.

(Sure, everything is always “ok” if you zoom out to evolution, the cosmos, or glacial time.
But that’s not the scale my heart lives on.
My heart is nose-deep in the grass of now.
It knows what day of the week it is.
It knows what’s in the fridge.
Glaciers don’t.)
 

I’ve never liked being vulnerable to circumstances I can’t control.
There’s just too much powerlessness in that for me, thank you very much.

And yes, of course –
I tried inserting my considerable power over those circumstances.
I became the Miracle Woman™
(the one who does it all, all the time).

But we all know how that story ends.
No one wants that on their tombstone.

Instead, I want power over my experience.

I don't want my inner Serene Queen to have to wait on a summer day.

It took me years to figure out how to find her in the "off-season", 
the land of less-than-ideal external circumstances...

But now I know where she resides and how to bring her forth.

I won't bore you with it,
but there's a long montage to insert here of years of neuroscience research,
and putting theory to practice in the "lab" of our relationship, family, and client sessions.

Skip the montage...
and take the shortcut we made.

If you want to find your Serene Queen, regardless of season or circumstance,
let’s talk.

Or if you’re past talking,
and just want to feel better already,
you’re perfectly on time.

Emotional Sovereignty School was made for this.

This framework gives you the ability to steer your internal state –
no matter what’s happening outside.

In any case,
our inner goddesses see the inner goddess in you.

---

So you know –

Our 🐦‍⬛ Early Bird 50% Off, Is Ending Soon:

LIVE Emotional Sovereignty School
⛓️‍💥The step-by-step training in how your brain and nervous system really work – and what to do when they’re hijacked.
✨ Tuition now $1950 (previously $2500)
✨ Get 50% off with code BIRDIE thru July 25
✨ Bonuses include: The Glow Up, Sleep Upgrade, Income Boost, and Big Results Little Time