What to Eat When Your Nervous System is Fried

Guess what kind of food is best?

FOOD IN GENERAL!

Sorry to "yell", but many of us get thrown into Survival Mode just because it's been hours since our last meal and the nutrient tank is running dry!

When the body doesn't have enough resources, it decides for us that higher levels of functioning should be put on pause, and it's time to just get by until things get better.
 

Does this ever happen to you? 

It happens to us, too.

In these instances, we recommend eating anything that's available until you can get to food you really want. 

But when planning that grocery list or getting started on dinner — we can set ourselves up for less Survival Mode, and less intense emotion as well, when we give our body foods that support the nervous system. 

So here's a good list to inspire meal planning for the nervous system!

Magnesium-rich foods:

• Leafy greens (spinach, kale)

• Nuts (almonds, cashews, pecans)

• Seeds (pumpkin seeds, flaxseeds)

• Whole grains (brown rice, quinoa)

These are good sources of magnesium, which plays a role in nervous system regulation and reducing stress. 

Our Magnesium Strategy:
We buy big bags of mixed nuts at Costco and stash small ziploc bags of nuts in our backpack, fanny pack, etc.. (I, Nathan, am snacking on pistachios while we write this...)

Omega-3 fatty acids:

• Fatty fish like salmon

• Mackerel

• Sardines

• Avocado

These are excellent sources of omega-3s, which have been linked to reduced anxiety and improved mood. 

Our Omega-3 Strategy:
We don't love working with raw fish too much. So we buy salmon patties, pop them in the oven, and pair them with a big basic salad for quick meals.  We also love putting half an avocado on our bowl of grains and veggies. (We also take a mixed omegas supplement, to get an array of fatty acids.)

Foods containing L-tryptophan:

• Turkey

• Eggs

• Some dairy products (yogurt)

• Tofu

• Lentils

These are rich in L-tryptophan, an amino acid that the body uses to produce serotonin, a neurotransmitter associated with mood stabilization. 

Our L-tryptophan Strategy:
Almost every day we fry up some eggs for lunch because they're fast and simple. If we have some leftover veggies from the night before, we'll throw these in. We also make a regular batch of dahl and throw in chunks of tofu.

Dark chocolate:

• Dark chocolate (70% cocoa or higher) contains flavonoids that research suggests improve brain function and help with stress management. 

Our Chocolate Strategy:
We eat chocolate, of course!
But we also drink cacao sweetened with honey and/or xylitol. We buy it in bulk because we like to drink it almost every day. Our favorite brand is Navitas (we're not an affiliate, but we should be...).

Fermented foods:

• Yogurt

• Kefir

• Sauerkraut

• Kimchi

These contain probiotics that support a healthy gut microbiome, which can impact serotonin, mood, and anxiety levels. 

Our Fermented Food Strategy:
Some of us like sauerkraut and some of us don't, but we all love kombucha! We've been brewing our own for over ten years, which makes it very inexpensive, and once you're in the groove it's easy-peasy to do.

Complex carbohydrates:

• Quinoa

• Brown rice

• Oats

• Sourdough

• Sweet potatoes

These provide a steady release of energy, helping to stabilize blood sugar levels and prevent mood swings. 

Our Carb Strategy:
We like to put one cup of basmati, one cup quinoa, a can of garbanzos, a splash of oil, and some spices and/or herbs in a pot with 4 cups of broth or water, and cook like you normally would rice.

This makes a more exciting grain-pilaf sort of thing that can be topped with whatever you like. We often top with salad, steamed veggies and tofu, and a wedge of avocado. Sauce of your choice can be drizzled on top.

Here's to full bellies, and agile and well-resourced nervous systems!

From our table to yours...

Elsa's Real Secret (and Yours Too)

We recently go into a discussion about what Disney character best symbolized our own journey. 
And after talking about it and musing on it for a bit – we still hate to admit it (just so cliche!) but...

It's Elsa from Frozen.

Yes, the snow queen who belts out “Let It Go.”)

Maybe everyone can secretly relate to Elsa...?

Because here’s the lowdown: Elsa isn’t just a Disney character.

She’s an archetype of what so many of us go through when our natural power and sensitivity feel like "too much".

Here's Elsa's timeline – absolutely rife with Survival Mode!

• She's born with incredible powers, powers she doesn’t understand or know how to wield.

• As a child, she accidentally hurts her sister (Survival Fight).

• Her family hides her away so she won’t hurt anyone. (Their Survival reaction to her Survival reactions...)

• Later, overwhelmed by fear and shame, she lashes out when her sister announces her engagement (Survival Fight), and then flees into isolation (Survival Flight/Freeze).

• Even in her self-created ice palace, she accidentally wounds her sister again (a tangled mix of Survival Fight and Freeze).

Oof, sounds too familiar.

Survival Mode isn't composed or conscientious. It shows up in ways we don’t want, in patterns we don’t choose, and it often hurts the people we love most.

But in the movie... Elsa discovers her truth. She simplifies it down to:  Love is the key.

When she can get back to a place of love, she can use her gifts with clarity, freedom, and joy. 

This is the same arc we guide people through with Emotional Sovereignty work.

Because we're all at least a little bit like Elsa.

We have incredible power, sensitivity, and capacity within us. But until we learn how to work with our nervous system and brain states, those gifts can feel overwhelming and even dangerous, or conversely, muted and out of reach.

As we see it, Emotional Sovereignty is the map for moving from Survival Mode to absolute empowerment.
 

It’s a gorgeous hero’s journey:

✨ From being run by our nervous system, to learning how to work with it.
✨ From reacting in Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Appease, to responding with clarity and agency.
✨ From fearing our emotions, to using them as a source of strength and enrichment.

Just ask our students (and coaches!)...

No one wants to be stuck in an ice castle...

Or in any form of Survival Mode!

Students in Emotional Sovereignty School report an average decrease of 50% in time spent in this debilitating state.

Imagine what becomes possible when you get half your time back!

What about you?

Is your inner-hero spending too much time in Survival Mode?

We'd love to hear from you!
 

What movie archetype are you living out right now?

And...
If you’re ready to write the next chapter of your story...
Emotional Sovereignty School is calling your name!
There's still time for you to enroll in this term, which starts August 28th.

So if you know you're ready (to not just spend a whole lot less time Frozen, or in Fight or Flight, or Appeasing others), here's a wink from your fairy godmother. ✨ Go here ✨ to find out more, check out payment options, and sign yourself up! 

Or

If you're thinking about this, and you're not sure yet, and/or you just want to talk it through with someone, we'd love to offer you a "Testing the Waters" Strategy Session. This is not a sales call. It's just a chance for you find your own alignment and where you can:
– Share your journey thus far.
– Get help identifying where Survival Mode has sabotaged your best intentions.
– Find out how Emotional Sovereignty work might support you and your becoming.


And in any case (whether you ever come to Sovereignty School or not) no matter what, you're definitely our hero!

Your Brain On Transition (and What To Do About It)

What's changing in your world?

Over here in Missoula, Montana, our neighbor Carol's elm is starting to change color. And we hate it!
We love Carol, and her tree, but danggggg, we do not want to shift gears out of Summer-mode.

Is Fall awesome? Yes.
Are there delights in every season? Of course.
Can we get hygge like the best of them? You know it.

But who cares?

Transition still sucks eggs.
It happens a lot.

• Summer to Fall

• High school to college

• Daytime to nighttime

• Awake to asleep 

• Asleep to awake

• Single to married

• Married to single

• Fertile to menopausal

• Working to retired

• Weekend to workday

• Workday to weekend

But no matter how many times it happens...
 

Humans struggle with transition.

Go ahead and test this theory by asking any 6-year old if they want to transition from playing with their Labubu to going to a pool party. 

Transitioning from one thing to anything else, (even something awesome) can invite all sorts of discomfort.
 

Why is transition a challenge?

Dude, it's primal.

We're wired to prefer more predictability than novelty. Change is akin to uncertainty, which to our Survival System, is akin to threat.

Picture the Cro-Magnon version of yourself chilling on a grassy plain, enjoying the breeze. Now picture a shift in the wind, a gamey scent in the air, a rustling in the bushes.... Uh oh! Could be a lion and you might be lunch!

It may not happen every time, but that transition from known (Labubu play) to even slightly unknown (pool party) can be enough to awaken the Survival System. This is when that 6-year old says...

• I HATE pool parties!" - Survival Fight

• [Runs from the room] - Survival Flight

• [Acts like they didn't hear you] - Survival Freeze

• "I'll get ready in five minutes, I promise." (then doesn't) - Survival Appease

But who are we kidding. If we're pointing fingers at 6-year olds, let's be fair and swing that finger around...
 

Think of the times of your life where you struggled.

Was transition involved?

Heck, think of the times you struggled yesterday. Was transition involved?

– Our clients and students often identify the "Witching Hour" between work and dinner, as the moment they tend to "lose their shit".

– Daylight savings?
– Or returning home from somewhere? Anywhere?
 

There's emotional fallout around transition.

We're likely to feel uncomfortable, and that can show up as:

• Overwhelm

• Anxiety

• Dread

• Grief

• Worry

• Frustration

• (You name it)

This is normal.

Standing on the threshold, between what was, and what isn't-quite-yet, is a tough place to be (no matter how long it lasts), and it makes sense to have feelings about it!
 

So what do you do?

Well, if we leave it up to the Survival System...
It will either entrench us in non-change (safe and certain!) or plunge us blindly and hurriedly into the new realm – maybe through force, or whim, or impetuosity. This is the ol' "out of the frying pan into the fire" method. The instinct is super strong to just hurry up and arrive in the next place, instead of suffering at the unknown threshold.

If we leave it up to the Emotional System...
It will inflate and exaggerate what we're leaving behind and what we're heading into. The past chapter will become a rose-colored utopia to cling to, while the next chapter is full of dismaying terrors. Or, conversely, because the Emotional System is fickle like that, this system will decide that the last chapter was "the worst ever", and "good riddance", while the next chapter is going to be heavenly, perfect, and free of all problems. Depending on what feeling we happen to be holding during our time on the threshold, we can swing from dark pessimism to naive optimism – sometimes within moments of each other.

Neither are good options!

Instead, it's time for some Emotional Sovereignty.

We can retrain our brains to have an easier time with transition. Here's how:

1. Notice moments that count as transition.
   Recognize them when they show up, and highlight them ahead of time if possible.

2. Drop into the body.
   What brings awareness or ease back to your physical vessel? Do that. (The Survival System chills out when you do.)

3. Name 2 - 3 feelings.
   Name, out loud, whatever is true for you. (The Emotional System loves when you do this.)

4. Say something kind to yourself.
   Normalize these feelings, show understanding for yourself in them. (The Executive System flicks on when you empathize with your feelings.)

5. Make one small choice that supports this transitional moment.
   Do you need to get your hair off your neck? Take a long gulp of water? Bring something with you?

"Rinse and repeat" as needed.

For bigger transitions*, the threshold is wide, so it may be a good time to call in external help – like a NeuroEmotional Coach – who can support you to increase your Emotional Sovereignty and decrease the Survival and Emotional fallout of your transition.
 

It's wonderful and woeful to be a human.

The human condition is no joke!

Let's all give ourselves a big, enthusiastic, "high five" for doing the best we can – every time we can. 

Here's to you and yours, during your micro and macro transitions. We're in this together for sure.

*If you let us know what big transition you find yourself in:

• New partnership

• New baby

• Launching business

• Empty-nesting

• Divorce

• Mid-life rethink

• Retirement

• Perimenopause

• Career change

• Identity shift

• Loss

• You name it

We'll let you know which coach we think would be the best match for you.

Just email love@centerforemotionaleducation.com and we'll get you sorted. 💛

No wins. No treats. Still better.

I recently had a terrible day... I was very unhappy.

Took a walk. Noticed my mind scanning for something – anything – that would make me feel happier. 

I checked all the externals:

- Was I particularly thin, beautiful, or stylish today? NO
- Did I make some good money today? NO
- Impressive bank account? NO
- Yummy dinner planned? NO
- At least some cheese or sugar waiting? NO

Nothing on the outside was going to do it.

Alas.

I begrudgingly resigned myself to shifting from the inside.

1. Get out of Survival Mode

For 15 minutes I worked tools from Unit 3 of Emotional Sovereignty School:
– 54321 (elaborate version)
– Light Touch
– Regulating Breath
– “Do I have a body?”

2. Work the emotions

By the time I reached the riverbank, I was body-calm enough to use Notice, Name, Touch (Unit 6):
– I named every feeling and let it headline:
WORRY: “I’ll never figure this out.”
FRUSTRATION: “If you have good ideas and work hard, you should win.”
– Etc., etc.
– I followed with empathy, used my name, touched my chest lovingly
– Added breath and anchoring

Then I dove deeper:
– Found the biggest emotions
– Named their catch phrases
– Touched where they lived in my body
– Let them say wild things
– Followed their lead

By the time I reached the roses in the waterwise garden, I felt better, but not buoyant.
I checked for optimism or ideas.

Still nope.

So I doubled down on empathy for 5 more minutes.

3. Offer gentle support

Out of the depths, and having the sense of being seen, I used Unit 11 tools to list easy next steps:
– A couple handfuls of blueberries
– Hair brushing
– Shower + favorite soft PJ set

I knew I was back to my real self when I could tell, even from afar, what my body wanted to eat and what I could make from the pantry.

Still wary I might “fall back in,” I chose a color anchor (Unit 3) and kept breathing all the way to the doorstep.

4. I returned.

Same porch as an hour ago. But now the world – and I – felt different.
– I ate the blueberries.
– Kissed my partner.
– Slowly brushed my hair.
– Negotiated for the good bathroom.
– Made the most delicious dinner.

I changed *nothing* on the outside.
And everything on the inside.

I heart Emotional Sovereignty.
 

And you can have it too!

Feel free to use this recipe I used the other day. 

And if you want more, more, more... Emotional Sovereignty School might be a great fit for you.

In any case, we're sending love!

---

Curious?

Here are the 4 Phases inside Emotional Sovereignty School

August wants your courage 💪

In solidarity as emotional beings, we wanted shared with you this month's emotional weather forecast!

We've blended Astrodienst's brilliance with our own Emotional Sovereignty framework, and the combination is magical.

Enjoy!
 

🌞 August Emotional Forecast

August opens with a lively, sometimes jittery hum in the air... Mercury and the Sun meet in Leo on the 1st, inviting everyone to be a little more talkative, opinionated, and a bit self-focused.

Expect conversations to be plentiful, passionate, and occasionally one-sided.

This is a month for courageous dialogue, even when the questions on the table feel tender or overdue... Venus in Cancer is stirring deep emotional waters, and Saturn is asking for structure and honesty in our relationships. 

Keep in mind:

• Romantic ideals may need a reality check.
• Unspoken expectations will want daylight.

Emotional Sovereignty means remembering that state-specific thinking is real. 

Don't be tricked into believing that things your person says while in Survival Mode, or Emotional Mode, are their deep truth.

      • Stay regulated, soothe your own Survival System.

      • Help shift the collective nervous system.

      • Only determine what's true or make decisions when everyone is back in Executive Mode.

🌕 August Full Moon in Aquarius

The energy peaks with a potent Full Moon on the 9th.

This is the tension between old neural wiring (“stay safe, don’t risk it”) and your nervous system’s craving for new possibilities.

• There is hardly a better time to start manifesting new visions and ideas. 

• Doubt and fear will likely surge, and left unsupported, could put out new sparks.

• It's time to lean into courage, assume your responsibility, and take steps (even small ones). 

Emotional Sovereignty means remembering there is tension between old wiring and new neural habits

Feelings are normal. It's important to listen to them, be with them, but they don't get to design your next chapter.

To gently shift feelings out of the driver's seat, use Notice, Name, Touch™ to:

      • Recognize when emotions are in the mix.

      • Identify them by name.

      • Give them (and you) empathy, understanding, and connection.

💕 Venus meets Jupiter in Cancer

After the intensity, tenderness floods in on August 12th.

Connection feels richer, gratitude deeper, and the bonds we’ve been tending (or mending) have room to bloom.

• Look for ebullience and other deep and intensely delightful emotions.

• New relations and projects started at this time will carry the signature of these emotions.

Emotional Sovereignty means not only staying in connection with our self at all times, but also being available for connection with others.

Connection doesn't happen by accident. Doubling-down on our regulation and staying in-tune while around those we care about, gives them the emotional safety required for them to be vulnerable and open with us – the trademarks of true intimacy.

To connect with others:

      • Go where they are, whether it's the kitchen, or the dance hall, and use regulating techniques.

      • Be available for eye contact.

      • Open your body posture, lower your shoulders.

      • If they say something, empathize and then ask an open-ended question about what they said.

🌑 August New Moon in Virgo

The tone sobers, asking us to integrate what’s been stirred up, with the new moon on the 23rd.

Nervous systems may feel thin-skinned here. Clarity comes only after slowing down enough to really sense what’s shifted.

• Be available to support yourself through nervousness or restlessness.

• You may easily take offense, or cry.

• This is a good time to invest in resilience practices and allow your thoughts to quiet.

Emotional Sovereignty means knowing when it's time to rest and restore.

It's common for emotions to peak and ebb for any number of reasons. Just because we feel a feeling, doesn't mean something's wrong or needs to be addressed. This could be the right moment to jot down the feelings and complaints, and then set that piece of paper aside, and return to it when personal resources are higher.

Resilience practices for restoration:

     • Rest more than usual – naps, quiet time, or more sleeping hours.

      • Eat more complex carbohydrates and foods rich in omega fatty acids.

      • Drink more water than usual.

      • Move more slowly in your daily movements.

🦁 Venus in Leo

Starting the 25th, creative fire, passionate love, and bold female voices color the last days of August.

This is a ripe time to express yourself, let art move through you, or say the thing that’s been burning a hole in your chest. Some connections may get spicier, and go deeper than expected.

• Look for ways to chime in on discussions of social development – your voice is needed.

• Lean into that creative impulse wherever it pops up.

• A sudden love affair may show up! Whatever that may look like for you – don't hesitate.

Emotional Sovereignty means staying with our self, even during busy or invigorating times.

Emotion is stimulating and activating, even (and sometimes especially) those many consider "positive" – like inspiration, motivation, enthusiasm, infatuation. It's easy to sabotage ourselves when things are going well because without some processing, these more sought-after emotions can fill our capacity, and then we overflow and shut down. 

Wire to "withstand " the good stuff:

      • Set a timer on your phone as a reminder to stop what you're doing (even if you're doing fun stuff) and check in with your experience.

      • Orient to your body — what's touching the outside, what sensations are happening on the inside?

      • Without much thought, name 3 feelings. Just see them as neutral entities, and give them a wave.

      • Decide if you need to stop and do some deeper processing, or note emotions that may need to be revisited later, and then carry on!

We hope this helps you consciously and conscientiously navigate the days ahead!

You're the Expert!

Better than the Enneagram.

Better than Human Design.

Better than your astrological chart, your aura, or your Akashic record.

Those tools can be beautiful mirrors.

But Emotional Sovereignty gives you something they can’t:

⭐️ Real-time self-awareness

⭐️ Specific tools for working with how you are right now

⭐️ Agency in owning your authentic truth

It shows you:

✔️ Which part of your brain is currently running the show

✔️ What your habitual patterns mean

✔️ What helps you shift

✔️ What you truly need to be your biggest self

You don’t have to have a cosmic blueprint, or subjugate your identity to someone else’s authority. You just need your own attention, your own body, and the right tools to interpret your signals with compassion and skill.

Because self-knowledge isn’t a fixed sign.

It’s a living, breathing relationship with your nervous system, your history, and your becoming.

You are the expert on you.

And when you have the right tools, you don’t need to outsource your self-knowledge anymore.

That’s what we give you in Emotional Sovereignty School.

And our new free webinar gives you the 3-step framework that starts the process.

(https://www.centerforemotionaleducation.com/3step-cover)

It’s not about typing yourself.

It’s about meeting yourself.

And being able to respond to who you are, moment by moment.

That’s the kind of self-understanding that changes everything.

Not in theory.

In your bones.

In your relationships.

In your work.

In real time.

💛

Feeling some giddy delight over here...

We’re usually pretty laid back folks – but, not today!

Today we’re feeling too much excitement and enthusiasm to be chill.
.

We’ve been working on something super cool and we can’t stop thinking about it!

We’re delivering a 60-minute masterclass all about feeling better without having a bunch more money, or a ton of luxury time, and without unwanted medication.

Instead of sharing some isolated tips or theories, we’ll be outlining our foundational framework.

This is the same framework that has helped our students stop living in Survival Mode, start rewiring old emotional patterns, and become who they truly are.

Our signature program, Emotional Sovereignty School, is open for enrollment right now, and those who attend this free masterclass, will: 

– Learn the 3 major mistakes everyone makes when trying to feel better.
– Get our 3-Step Framework for feeling better, now (not when you’re richer or retired).
– And if you enroll in Emotional Sovereignty School from the masterclass, you'll get our new bonus –
✨Reprogramming 'Done for You' Guided Practice✨.
 

Please choose the time that works best for you.

Click below to register.

Pistachios, blankets, and the secret to everything

(Photo from Nathan of Echo, BobbyJon, and me at one of our favorite river spots.)

Sometimes...
 
When the air is the same temperature as my body,
and I have a blue watery horizon to rest my eyes on,
and maybe there's a thick picnic blanket under my bum,
some pistachio salt on my lips, 
and my river-loving lover's calf is rested gently against my calf...

And...

Even if my mind drifts further out to the rays of light that are my favorite people...
And through the crystal ball of this blissful moment I tune into them,
into their unique immediate worlds, 
and all seems well

I think to myself:
Oh. I've cracked the code to life.
This is what it's about.
I have arrived.

But then...

I love it too much.
I want to bottle it.
Or freeze it.
Or repeat it.
This tiny moment in time where everything on my outside tells my insides that it's ok.

And the wanting to keep it or repeat it, pings my amygdala.
Sends a scrambly old message of urgency and effort to my cells.

Because of course –
soon it won’t be summer.
One of those rays of light might have her heart broken,
or be in a fight with a co-worker,
or miss the important deadline for the important thing.

And sometimes...
There are no pistachios and I don't know what to eat,
And the sheets have been stripped but not yet replaced
and I'm sleepy enough to find this a disaster/emergency,
Or my river-loving lover is too cold for my cold skin to touch.

There will always be moments when my outsides tell my insides that it's not ok.

(Sure, everything is always “ok” if you zoom out to evolution, the cosmos, or glacial time.
But that’s not the scale my heart lives on.
My heart is nose-deep in the grass of now.
It knows what day of the week it is.
It knows what’s in the fridge.
Glaciers don’t.)
 

I’ve never liked being vulnerable to circumstances I can’t control.
There’s just too much powerlessness in that for me, thank you very much.

And yes, of course –
I tried inserting my considerable power over those circumstances.
I became the Miracle Woman™
(the one who does it all, all the time).

But we all know how that story ends.
No one wants that on their tombstone.

Instead, I want power over my experience.

I don't want my inner Serene Queen to have to wait on a summer day.

It took me years to figure out how to find her in the "off-season", 
the land of less-than-ideal external circumstances...

But now I know where she resides and how to bring her forth.

I won't bore you with it,
but there's a long montage to insert here of years of neuroscience research,
and putting theory to practice in the "lab" of our relationship, family, and client sessions.

Skip the montage...
and take the shortcut we made.

If you want to find your Serene Queen, regardless of season or circumstance,
let’s talk.

Or if you’re past talking,
and just want to feel better already,
you’re perfectly on time.

Emotional Sovereignty School was made for this.

This framework gives you the ability to steer your internal state –
no matter what’s happening outside.

In any case,
our inner goddesses see the inner goddess in you.

---

So you know –

Our 🐦‍⬛ Early Bird 50% Off, Is Ending Soon:

LIVE Emotional Sovereignty School
⛓️‍💥The step-by-step training in how your brain and nervous system really work – and what to do when they’re hijacked.
✨ Tuition now $1950 (previously $2500)
✨ Get 50% off with code BIRDIE thru July 25
✨ Bonuses include: The Glow Up, Sleep Upgrade, Income Boost, and Big Results Little Time

A Sticky Note for Your Heart: 5 Things You Need to Hear Right Now

If (perchance) you’ve been dropping balls, and/or snapping at people, and/or forgetting things you care about…

If your sleep is off, or your stomach’s tight, or everything feels loud and too much...

This is a letter for you.

We get how much you’re holding.
The commitments. The expectations. The care for others.
The grief. The hope. The fear.
The trying to be okay, to be good enough, to get it right.

You might look calm on the outside, but inside it’s a different story:
That tightness in your chest.
That feeling of being behind or of forgetting something you can't see.
The million invisible micro-decisions you make each day – just to keep going.

There’s nothing wrong with you.
Your brain and body are doing exactly what they were wired to do under this much pressure.

Before you read this any further…
 

Maybe just take a moment with us.

We invite you to:
• Push all the air out of your lungs.
• Let a fresh inhale come in through your nose, strong and full.
• Then let it go so slowly, like you’re stalling the end of it, or like you're singing.

Then gently check-in with your body:
• Let your shoulders drop and ease.
• Let your jaw unclinch and soften.
• Let even your tongue and teeth relax.

Then maybe bring a little love in:
• Place your hand on your heart
• Give it a super slow, gentle little rub
• Say your own name, and "I love you."

You’re doing so much.  

The world keeps speeding up, piling on, pushing harder.
And yet – you’re still here.

Showing up. Caring. Trying to hold it all together.

That effort alone is a kind of brilliance.

Here's a little tender reminder for you when you need it next:

(You can click the sticky note for a printable version.
Post it where you can see it when you need it.)

---

If it felt good to take a little moment for yourself and receive some love and connection, there's more where that came from. We're here standing by to support you further, when you're ready.

We've put together a list of upcoming support opportunities, (see below). If one of these is right for you, we’d love to walk beside you.

---

Upcoming Support Opportunities:

LIVE Emotional Sovereignty School ⛓️‍💥

The step-by-step training in how your brain and nervous system really work – and what to do when they’re hijacked.
✨ Tuition now $1950 (previously $2500)
✨ Get 50% off with code BIRDIE until July 25
✨ Bonuses include: The Glow Up, Sleep Upgrade, Income Boost, and Big Results Little Time

Private Coaching 📞

A few summer spots still open.

Support Fundamentals 🤝

The essential tools for supporting others and yourself in moments of upset – taught in a way that’s simple, clear, and immediately useful.

The World Gets Heavier, Emotional Sovereignty Gets Lighter.

Phew! The world is kinda intense right now, eh?

Like you, we’ve been watching the waves roll in:

⬆️ Prices steeply climbing.
⬆️ Anxiety and anger soaring.
⬆️ Exhaustion and overwhelm overflowing.
⬆️ Grief quietly pooling in the background.

And in all truth? That’s exactly why we created Emotional Sovereignty School — to help people soothe their emotional system, even when the world is out of control.
 

It’s also why, while nearly everything else is getting more expensive…

We’ve just lowered the tuition for Emotional Sovereignty School. Since we opened the course in 2020 it's been $2500. Now it’s $1950.

And that’s not all... We’ve added even more support, too.
 

What is Emotional Sovereignty School?

It’s our signature framework that shows you exactly how to navigate stress, overwhelm, and other intense emotions by understanding your brain, employing a wide range of tools, and working with your nervous system instead of fighting against it.

If you’ve ever wished you could stay calm when life gets chaotic… If you’ve found yourself overwhelmed, reactive, or stuck in old emotional patterns… This is the missing manual.
 

Inside Emotional Sovereignty School, you’ll learn how to:

✔️ Recognize which part of your brain is running the show (and shift it when necessary)
✔️ Regulate your nervous system in real-time – even in tough moments
✔️ Move through emotional upset with kindness and care
✔️ Rewire your brain for healthier emotional responses
✔️ Stay grounded, resilient, and clear – no matter the circumstances
 

Here are some Brand New Bonuses — all included when you join:

And, here are the same amazing bonuses we've always offered:

✨ Partners join for FREE! (Emotional Intelligence Dates, anyone??)

✨ Lifetime access to the material! (Watch or listen or reprint again and again...)

✨ Personal coaching support during class!

✨ Meaningful journal prompts to accelerate learning!

✨: Quiz questions to track learning!

✨ Cheatsheets, handouts, and printables! (Redecorate your fridge!)
 

And if you’re ready to jump in now? We’re making it even easier:

Half Off Early-Bird Tuition
💛 Enroll by July 25th and get HALF OFF your tuition.
That’s just $975 to radically upgrade your emotional life forever.
Coupon code: BIRDIE

This isn’t just about managing stress.

It’s about reclaiming yourself – so you stay steady, powerful, and present – no matter which way the world turns.

If it's right for you, we'd love nothing more than to have you with us this Fall.

---

What students are saying:

“I no longer experience panic.”

— Nathaniel

“There is nothing more empowering than becoming Emotionally Sovereign.”

— Kate

“ I’m not kidding, this learning WILL change your life, all of your relationships - and give you the tools to create more of what you truly desire.”

— Lauren

“It’s a game changer. I look at every interaction now through a new, more empowered lens.”

— Carone

Why Your Self-Care Isn't Working

We've been helping folks around the world not just feel better after an upset, but actually get so good at feelings that they rewire their age-old emotional patterns, for almost twenty years now.

So you can imagine we've really clocked what works and what definitely doesn't work when it comes to working with anxiety, overwhelm, irritation, and the like.
 

Want to know the biggest mistake most people make when they're trying to feel better?

Survey says: Relying on self-care alone.

The bubble baths. The weekends away. The workout plans. The eating right. The spa treatments. And all that well-meaning advice like: "You need more 'Me Time'."

or

"You need to take better care of yourself."

Look, we love self-care. We take baths, book massages, and schedule downtime. It feels fantastic.

But here’s the problem:
 

Self-care doesn't process emotion.

When we return from the getaway, our anxiety and overwhelm are waiting for us.
When we step out of that luxurious bath, the irritation jumps back in the moment it has a chance.
 

And yet, so many of us keep thinking:
“If I could just find more time for self-care… I wouldn’t feel this way.”

We thought that too.

For years, we believed if we could carve out more personal time, or be able to afford the things we love, the hard feelings would go away.
 

It's a natural mistake to make, because:

It’s the most common advice!
When we're struggling enough to finally say something out loud about it, most people lovingly, but annoyingly, let us know that we're not “taking care of ourselves” or we're "too busy", and that we need to "prioritize ourself.". 

Plus, self-care feels stupendous!
If we all had the time and money to do nothing but self-care, many of us would! It makes sense that when we're feeling "bad", the antidote is to do something that simply feels good.
 

But any relief we get from self-care doesn't last.

Here’s why:

• Emotion is processed internally, not addressed externally. So while we've moved "away" from the uncomfortable feeling, it's still there waiting for another opportunity to be expressed and integrated.
• Historical feelings and trauma don't care how cozy you get today, they're rising up from your past. In fact, getting more comfortable and at ease if often when historical feelings do come up.
• Self-care is beautiful – but it’s a rest, not a rewire. No amount of self-care in the world will make you better at working with your feelings.
 

So what happens if we keep making that mistake?

👉 We lose time – endless hours trying to nourish ourselves without meaningfully addressing the feelings.
👉 We lose money – self-care costs money, or costs time that could be used to earn money.
👉 We start to depend on getting away from our life just to function.
👉 We get temporary relief, followed by the same old spiral – wondering what’s wrong with us.
 

But when we stop making that mistake?

We can:
✨ Feel good inside our existing life.
✨ Access real relief – whenever we want, even without time or money.
✨ Save our energy for what matters most.
✨ Actually digest the overwhelm, anxiety, and rewire old patterns, for good.

It’s not about giving up self-care. It’s about (also) having the tools to help us actually feel better.
 

Here’s what one of our students shared:

"Before learning this work, I spent so much money trying to feel good. I booked trips, spa days, all the ‘self-care,’ but if I stepped out of my full-time self-care routine, the anxiety came flooding back. Now, I can shift my emotional state anywhere – in social settings, in the middle of parenting, even during hard conversations. My life has really opened up now."

Ready to stop outsourcing your peace to the next bath bomb?

We’d love to team up with you!

Upcoming Opportunities for Effective Support

Monthly Support Program:
Dear EQ, What Do I Do?
Emotionally intelligent ideas for life's challenges.
July 24, 11:30am Pacific

Personal Support:
Book a Complimentary "Feel Better Already" Session with a NeuroEmotional Coach
Openings available now

What really happened at the retreat…

Picture this:

You’re waking to the sound of hummingbirds outside your open window. Their little chirps weave in and out of the gentle hum of waves against the shore on one side and the trilling breeze rustling the jungle on the other..

You sit up to take in the blue horizon, and feel the morning kiss your bare shoulders.

There’s nowhere you need to be, but the saltwater pool is calling your name. 

There's nothing you have to do right now, but some mango and fresh juice sounds delightful.

This is what our retreat was like.

We traveled down the coast by boat from Puerto Vallarta where the high-rises fell away and the indigenous land remained. Protected and preserved by the Spanish settlers since the 1500s – it's as if even the flora and fauna, are relaxed. Sea turtles, dolphins, and whales play their way through the bay. Flowers and palm fronds wave lazily from the shore.

Our boat arrived, where  two rivers meet the sea, at the tiny fishing village of Yelapa. There are no roads for cars. Electricity and mobile phone services are fairly new. And the feel is ancient, welcoming, and gentle.

The cobblestone street from town gives way to mountain rock and beach sand on the walk to Pura Vida Wellness Center. Luggage, food, and any other supplies must be delivered by foot, burro, or tossed from a boat.

When we arrived we were greeted by smiles, a cooling cloth, and lime-basil juice – a delicious hint of the further delights that awaited us.

Every day we gathered around the table - plates heaped with veggies and tortillas made by Mexican matriarchs – sharing stories, sifting through feelings, gazing across the bay and into our hearts.  

We worked earnestly in circle, unpacking some old hurts, and laying the neuroemotional path to new, more easeful, more true selves.

We cried in supported yoga poses.
We raged in the saltwater pool.
We went on team escapades to check for room-dwelling geckos.

We learned how to ease away from over-functioning and over-forcing, and into ourselves, with a kind of reverence and hope most of us had forgotten was possible.

There was a moment — maybe you’ve had one like this — when we each felt the leap in our own heart after someone shared a truth they’d never spoken out loud.

And we just held it. Held that truth. Held each other. And felt the rippling effects tumbling into our futures.

And...
We’re doing it again.

If you've been in Survival Mode for far too long....
If anxiety and overwhelm have taken over...
If you've been working hard to manifest your best life only to find yourself even further down the wrong path...

This next retreat is for you.

We're calling it the
NeuroMagnetic Besties Retreat

An immersive and transformative experience for you and your favorite person:

• To get out of Survival Mode,

• Integrate the challenges of the past, and,

• Leverage this unparalleled NeuroEmotional modality to manifest what you actually want
  (because you can't manifest what your nervous system is currently afraid of...).

April 19-25 2026
Pura Vida Wellness Center
Yelapa, Mexico

If this speaks to you, grab your person, and let's go!!

Email love@centerforemotionaleducation.com with: "Me and my person are interested in the NeuroMagnetic Besties Retreat!" and we'll follow up with you about next steps!
(If you have questions, hit us up with those!)

Going away for deep immersive work with our people is one of our favorite events of the year. It's no exaggeration to say we're already counting the days until we get to be back in Yelapa, at Pura Vida, and hopefully with you and yours!

Can you see yourself there?

---

What folks are saying about our retreats:

"I feel so much gratitude for this retreat!
It was a space where I got to live out some of what I have been learning with repeated opportunities to be practicing in an environment that was regulated and encouraging. I was so thankful to fellow retreat goers who showed up ready to be their complete and vulnerable selves which made our learning so rich and supportive and I came away with some new habits and an action plan which gives me much hope!" ~ N

"The facilitation was as complex as rays of light thru a prism —  with safety, belonging, and deep connection and support woven in .  All needs were met." ~ R

"I got to practice being the person I dream of being while being surrounded with support and unconditional love. It gave me a path forward and helped me believe that becoming who I want to be is most certainly possible." ~ A

High-functioning, low fulfillment?

On a scale of 1 - bad, 6 - fine, to 10 - rad – how would things rate?

We've experienced all points of the scale over the 20+ years Nathan and I have been partnered up. 
In fact, we were just thinking of our "origin story" with neuroemotional work today while we walked to the river.

We were showing up.
We were trying hard.
But underneath it all… something was off.

We weren't where we dreamed of being.

We made it through each day – and though there were highlights, like nature-time, or adorable kid-time, we did not have the sense of having arrived in our true life. It was good-enough. But definitely not the fully vibrant, abundant, and embodied version we all hope for. 

We see this with our clients as well. When they come to us, they are:

• Snapping at the people they love most.

• Longing for deep connection but pushing it away when it shows up.

• Watching time pass in a blur of shoulds, obligations, and Survival Mode.

• Dreaming of a life that feels just out of reach because, somehow, they keep repeating the same old patterns.

We know just what that's like.

The turning point for us came one night at home after watching some shows together. As the escape into someone else's gripping narrative faded, I felt the discontent, disappointment, and despair come pouring back in.

I didn't like anything I saw. Every spot my eyes landed on seemed to glare back as blatant evidence that this. wasn't. it.

We were not doing it right.

We were not living our one precious life well enough.

Have you ever felt that way?

That night on the couch, what would later become our signature support method (the one that has now helped hundreds of people across the world), was in beta, only being used on kid squabbles, but Nathan pulled it out anyway. Recognizing the brain state that I was in, Nathan offered support that was aligned with that specific state. And though we had not remodeled our living room, quadrupled our bank accounts, or made any other real-world changes (all of that would come a little later), by the end of that conversation I felt different.

It was like a veil had been lifted from my eyes.

I turned to Nathan and said: "I want everyone in the world to have that."

Because it was more than just feeling better (which is plenty, am I right?), it was like getting passed the key to the realm I'd always wanted to live in. I felt alive, empowered, powerful, and like my true self. The future, my ideal life, came into view and I could see the path to making it a reality.

And so we brought it to the world.

While changing our own at the same time.

We kept offering ourselves this same signature method every time the feelings poured in, or the automatic reactions kicked on.

And eventually we changed the way our brains function.

Now we aren't living on auto-pilot, just making it through the day. We are truly living, connecting, and designing (almost) every action.

And our brains, our history, our circumstances are no different than anyone else's, we just learned what to do at each neurochemical crossroad.

Because it's not that you’re doing something wrong.
It’s that your nervous system is still doing what it learned to do long ago: Protect. Cope. Repeat.

But protecting and coping isn't good enough, right?

At the Center for Emotional Education, we specialize in helping high-functioning humans unhook from Survival Mode patterns that are silently shaping their lives, so they can finally create what they actually want:

💛 Less anxiety, overwhelm, and stress
💛 More joy, ease, and meaning
💛 A relationship that feels like home
💛 A life that fits who they really are
💛 A nervous system that doesn’t sabotage their best intentions

We provide a practical, neuroscience-backed, emotionally intelligent path toward authentic, connected living.

Not just healing, but rewiring.

Not just knowing better, but living differently.

Because the biggest heartbreak isn’t a single moment. It’s the slow erosion of the life you meant to live.

And you don’t have to keep missing it. There's a new path when you're ready.

🌤️ Emotional Weather Report: June and July

We’re officially in the flush of Summer (in the Northern Hemisphere), and the internal weather system is anything but chill.

It's the season of fire — hot sun, full schedules, high expectations. And while the world tells us now’s the time to relax, for many of us, summer actually stirs the opposite.
 

Here's what we're seeing in the collective nervous system:

– The pressure to do extra
– The strain of "shoulds"
– The mania of holding even more than usual, while pretending it’s “the fun season”

We call it the False Summer Syndrome

The pressure to make the most of the season is real. For many, this means running hot: socially, professionally, and relationally. More obligations. More social interactions. More emotional output. 

It's more than any one person can juggle without some fallout, so here's our...

🧭 Forecast Advisory for Summer 2025:

🔥 Watch for Survival Mode in Flip-Flops
The Survival System doesn't take Summers off, but dysregulation can be more difficult to spot when it's wearing a sundress. Urgency, heightened distraction, over-yessing, and depletion are the signs to look out for.

🌊 Schedule Sobbing
Don’t wait until you're overwhelmed. Give yourself a daily/weekly 10-minute window to "fall apart" on purpose. Play a song that breaks you open. Journal messily. Lie on the floor and sigh.
Bonus optimization: Name actual feelings during your ritual.

🏖️ Hydrate Your Heart
Seek out emotional hydration: people who get it, music that moves it, quiet that nourishes. Look for ways to soften the edges you're navigating. Use your master-level Executive abilities to schedule in greater ease.

Want help navigating your current weather system?

We have many seasonal offerings to support you during this time of year, no matter which side of the equator you're on. Check out the list below!

Summer Support Opportunities

Free Coloring for Kids:
Feeleez Feelings Pages

Sign-up to be on the mailing list of our kids' division and get 25 emotions to color. Great for facilitating feelings expression.

Personal Support:
Coach Sue has two Openings in Her Client Roster

Thursday at 8am and Saturdays at 3pm, Pacific
Book a complimentary "Feel Better Already" session via the link above.

Monthly Support Program: 
Dear EQ, What Do I Do?

Emotionally intelligent ideas for life’s challenges.
 

Boundaries Support:
Better at Boundaries Masterclass

Reshape relationships, enhance self-respect, and reclaim emotional freedom.

Avail yourself! And feel free to share with those you know could benefit. 💛 

Confessions from Sessions

The two of us have been in private practice for almost twenty years now, and as just a teeny sampling, these are some things our clients say in the privacy of a session.

– "I wish my husband didn't freeze up and go blank when I cry."

– "I can't complain to my mom because she'll worry so much that it isn't worth sharing."

– "I wish my wife could tell when I'm upset and help me. Instead she just assumes I'm fine. I'm not fine, I'm just too embarrassed to say something."

– "I want my boyfriend to be able to tell when I actually want help and when I'm just venting!"

– "Why doesn't my dad ask me any questions? If I'm upset he just leaves the room."

– "I want to be able to throw a fit and not have to explain myself!"


These quotes come from people who love their people, but don't love how their people respond to their upsets.

They begged us to make a class that their partner, mom, dad, boyfriend, or friends could take that simply taught them what to do or say.

Because when you're upset, you don't want to have to tell your person how to support you, you just want to be supported.


Maybe you're wondering if your person has ever said any of these things about you.

Maybe they have.

Not because you don't care, but because knowing what to say or do to help, is hard (especially when our person's upset is upsetting to us), and no one taught us any techniques that actually work.

Maybe you've said some of these quotes yourself!

You want support but you don't want to have to teach anyone how to do it. It's not fair to have to be the teacher and the crier at the same time.
 

Maybe you're suddenly desperate for some tips on how to do upset better – either for yourself or to slyly share with your person. 


So here's the basic formula for big upsets:

• Communicate safety

• Manage nervous system activation

And here's the basic formula for medium upsets:

• Invite the upset/complaint

• Reflect the feelings you're hearing

• Offer connection

These formulas can save a struggling relationship or elevate a functioning one.

But it is very easy to f- this up!

Common mistakes include:
– Freezing up
– Confusing a medium upset with a big upset
– Getting too worked up to remember the formula
– Jumping into the fray instead of supporting the fray
– Rushing to fix
– Taking the bait
– Apologizing instead of empathizing
– Accidentally signaling lack of safety (through body posture, breath, or certain eye contact)
– Explaining
– Validating or invalidating the story
– Offering advice
– And way, way more

That's why, after twenty years of clients wishing and begging, we did make this class.

It's called Support Fundamentals.

It starts tomorrow night. 

It's what every relationship has been waiting for.

Registration deadline is tomorrow, Tuesday May 20th, at 3pm Pacific.

We made this for you, and we feel a lot of hope that you and your people just love it. 💛

Everything is recorded and yours to keep forever.

You're Not a Therapist. You're Something Else.

Do you have someone to lean on while everyone else is leaning on you?

The world is full of emotionally intense moments, and most people are winging it when it comes to supporting themselves and/or others.

And whether you're a coach, healer, facilitator, leader, or just that person everyone turns to when things fall apart – you're likely holding a lot of space without enough of a map.

That’s why we created the NeuroEmotional Aide Certification available through Support Fundamentals.

This training equips you with neuroscience-backed, trauma-aware tools to support others emotionally – without becoming a therapist, overstepping your scope, or burning yourself out.
 

But what can you actually do with this credential?

Here’s a breakdown:

For Your Work

1. Amplify Your Current Practice
Coaches, educators, bodyworkers, yoga teachers – this gives you a structured, brain-based way to help clients manage emotional intensity without going into therapy territory.

2. Be the Nervous System Whisperer at Work
HR, DEI, and wellness professionals can use this to shift group dynamics, de-escalate tension, and create healthier, more emotionally intelligent teams.

3. Show Up With More Skill in Healthcare or Tender Spaces
If you’re a doula, nurse, hospice worker, or caregiver, these tools help you support people with presence and precision during critical emotional thresholds.
 

For Your Calling

4. Design Safer Transformational Spaces
Facilitating retreats, masterminds, or community groups? You'll know exactly how to support others at emotional edges without creating harm or collapse.

5. Start or Evolve a Nervous System–Centered Business
Use it as the foundation for your work – or add it to an existing offer. It also opens the door to our Certified NeuroEmotional Coach training.

6. Stand Out with Credibility
NeuroEmotional Aide certification means you're not just “trauma-informed.” You’re trained. You have scope. You’ve got tools. And people feel that.
 

For Your Life

7. Support the People You Love, Without Drowning
Bring co-regulation and confidence into your home life, parenting, or partnership. (Yes, even in the chaos. Especially then.)

8. Become a Rock in Your Community
Mutual aid, grief groups, social justice work – this training grounds your presence so you can support others without burning out or absorbing everything.

9. Speak a New Emotional Language
You’ll understand brain states. You’ll recognize what’s actually happening under the surface. And you’ll be able to meet people where they are, not where you wish they were.
 

This is emotional support for the world as it is – not as it was, and not as we wish it to be.

If you’re (also) someone who knows you're here to ease suffering, nurture growth, and raise the collective frequency…

Then this training might just be your next best step.

Support Fundamentals Basic Details:

A science-based, 8-hour certification course to help you respond skillfully when you or someone else is upset.

You’ll learn how to:

• Identify brain states (Survival, Emotional, Executive)

• Balance the nervous system in real time

• Use precise "language" to de-escalate distress

• Support others without absorbing their emotions

Who it’s for:

Leaders, service providers, caregivers, educators, coaches, and anyone who supports or wants to support others.

Format:

Live on Zoom, over 4 sessions

Dates: May 20, 27, June 3, 10

Time: 5-7pm Pacific/8-10pm Eastern

Tuition: $550

Certification (optional): Additional $200 for written exam + credential

Outcome:

💥 Leave with a toolkit you can apply immediately – in work, leadership, and life.

🧠 Certification available as a NeuroEmotional Aide.

How Well Do You Score?

Are you being met in ways that feel good and helpful? We hope so, because that's the theme of this newsletter! ☺️

We've got eight scenarios to run by you, these are common profiles of human upset, and only a few people know what to do in these situations. Do you?

Let's find out!

Scoring

For each scenario described...

• Give yourself 1 point if you can think of something to do or say in response.

• Give yourself an additional point if you have tried this and it helped the other person find relief, connection, or deescalation.

16 points available, how many do you score?

Level One: Medium Difficulty

Scenario 1
You walk into the room and you see a person you care about crying. Their shoulders are rounded forward, their face is flushed. You inquire as to what's going on and they say:
"Oh nothing, don't worry about it. I'm just having a moment. I got some bad news today and I can't stop thinking about it. I just don't know what to do. I'll be alright, I'm just so sad." [more crying]

▢ 1 point: What do you do or say in a moment like this?
▢ 1 point: You've tried this and it helped? (They have a sense of being heard, understood, and connected with. They let more tears out and feel relief.)

Scenario 2: 
Someone close to you is trying to figure something out and they can't. They start sighing heavily, shove their project away, throw their hands up, and storm around the room. When you inquire, they say:
"It's not working! I don't know what to do. It's supposed to work, but it isn't. I've tried everything, and nothing works. F#@$!"

▢ 1 point: What do you do or say in a moment like this?
▢ 1 point: You've tried this and it helped? (They start speaking more slowly, their body and face become calmer, they perhaps get re-inspired about their project.)

Scenario 3:
A person in your group is concerned about a number of things that could go wrong in the group's next venture. They keep listing all the negative possibilities, again and again. When you inquire, they say:
"What? I'm just trying to cover our bases! Someone has to. I mean, we've never done this before. Have we thought of everything? Are you sure we're ready? I think we should have fun, but let's not be foolish. Let's go over the plan one more time. Does everyone know the plan?"

▢ 1 point: What do you do or say in a moment like this?
▢ 1 point: You've tried this and it helped? (They stop making the list, they visibly get softer in their countenance, they have a sense of being supported and understood.)

Scenario 4:
Someone close to you is verbally beating themselves up about a mistake they made. They have a scowling expression on their face and can't seem to talk or think about anything else. When you inquire with them, they say:
"I was just so stupid! I can't believe I did that. Who does that?... I do, I guess. What an idiot." 

▢ 1 point: What do you do or say in a moment like this?
▢ 1 point: You've tried this and it helped? (Their countenance lifts, they stop trying to convince you that they're an idiot, they seem lighter, maybe even laughing or having some compassion for themself.)

Level Two: High Difficulty

Scenario 5:
A person in your household is stomping around and finding fault with almost everybody and everything. When you try to address this with them, they say:
”WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? THEY ARE THE ONES MESSING UP ALL MY STUFF! I'm just minding my own business and they keep taking my stuff and getting in my way! You should be yelling at THEM!"

▢ 1 point: What do you do or say in a moment like this?
▢ 1 point: You've tried this and it helped? (They soften enough to stop being loud. They may not feel light and happy, but they're no longer blaming others, and they're leaning in for support.)

Scenario 6:
Someone close to you keeps buzzing around the room, or leaving the room, or getting on their phone. They're moving so fast that they keep dropping things and knocking things over. It's a frantic energy that you don't enjoy. When you say something to them, they say:
"What are you even saying? I just have a lot going on! And you're actually making it worse right now. I'm sorry, but I don't have time to answer whatever your questions are. You're going to have to deal with it on your own."

▢ 1 point: What do you do or say in a moment like this?
▢ 1 point: You've tried this and it helped? (They slow down. They take a deep breath. They're not necessarily warm and communicative yet, but they're coming back to a shared reality.)

Scenario 7:
Someone you care about has been on the couch for many hours. They alternate between the tv, their phone, and napping. When you ask them what's going on, they say:
"Nothing...?"

▢ 1 point: What do you do or say in a moment like this?
▢ 1 point: You've tried this and it helped? (They stand up. They start talking a little bit. They take some sort of action. They're not necessarily lit-up yet, but they're coming back to life.)

Scenario 8:
Someone you care about keeps trying to get involved in your business. They mean well, but it's too much. They keep asking questions, sending links, offering advice, dropping by, volunteering to run your errands or pick up your kids. It's not that you couldn't use help, but their vibe is so intense. When you try to address it, they say:
"Oh I'm so sorry! Am I too much? Gosh, I'm so sorry. [Crying] I just love you so much, and feel so bad for what you're going through. Are you mad at me? Do you still love me? Please don't be mad at me."

▢ 1 point: What do you do or say in a moment like this?
▢ 1 point: You've tried this and it helped? (They chill out. They stop crying. Their voice drops an octave and their words slow down. They are able to hear what you're saying (and what you're not saying) and start understanding your position.)

Okay! 
Maybe you want to take a deep breath...?
Stretch a little bit?
Take a sip of your water?

It can be stressful just imagining those kinds of upsets!

How did you do?

How many points did you give yourself? Do you know what to say or do in situations like this? Do your responses work to increase ease and connection?

If you scored low, take solace in the fact that most people don't know what to do or say in situations like this! We are not taught emotional support skills in school! (Unfortunately!)

That's why we built our course Support Fundamentals.

People have been asking us for years to put together...
 

A simple primer on exactly what to do or say when we or someone we love is upset.

This course is short and to the point.
It takes place online, in the evening, so anyone can partake.

If you scored high, good on ya! Maybe you should have a certificate that proves how awesome you are at supporting people! With Support Fundamentals you have the option of enrolling in a written test afterwards and receiving certification as a NeuroEmotional Aide.

In any case, let us know how you did with these scenarios! We'd love to hear from you

🫂 Support in the Age of AI 🤖

If you’ve ever found yourself leaning on ChatGPT (or any AI tool) for emotional support – you’re not alone.

The world is shifting. Fast.

And more and more of us are turning to artificial intelligence to help us think, feel, and even heal.

If we want to navigate the current emotional support landscape with as much wisdom and self-nurturing as we can, there are aspects to this trend that might be worth a closer look.

So let's dive in!
 

ChatGPT vs Friend vs NeuroEmotional Coach 

ChatGPT
Strengths:

• Fast, nonjudgmental advice and emotional reflection

• 24/7 availability

• Excellent for brainstorming, educational support, and self-reflection prompts

Limitations:

• No emotional body (no real-time co-regulation or emotional resonance)

• Cannot feel nuance in tone, facial expression, or nervous system shifts

• No lived relational presence

A Friend or Partner
Strengths:

• Emotional connection and shared history

• Can offer comfort, belonging, loyalty

• Natural relational attunement (to the degree of their skill and regulation)

Limitations:

• May lack the training to hold nonjudgmental space effectively

• Can accidentally project, rescue, or dismiss emotions

• Their own emotional state can interfere with their ability to help

• They may unknowingly reinforce old coping patterns

A NeuroEmotional Coach
Strengths:

• Trained to offer emotionally and psychologically safe, attuned, skillful space

• Co-regulates and supports rewiring of Survival/Emotional patterns

• Provides personalized nervous system strategies for change

• Tracks progress and fosters empowered, sovereign healing

Limitations:

• Scheduled availability (vs. always-on like ChatGPT)

• Investment of time, energy, and money (for deeper payoff)

Why ChatGPT Feels So Supportive

Language mimicry: GPT models (especially 4 and 4.o) are trained on billions of human interactions. They pick up the patterns of warm, empathic language – things like "That sounds really hard" or "I'm here with you."

Attention simulation: ChatGPT "stays with you" in a conversation without interrupting, invalidating, or steering away from hard feelings – unlike many real-world humans.

Nonjudgmental tone: Because GPT doesn't have an ego or personal discomfort, it can offer unconditional positive regard in tone much more reliably than the average untrained human.

And here are some important differences:

No somatic attunement: True emotional presence isn’t just about words – it’s about felt, living, energetic, and physiological co-attunement. A human coach feels your micro-shifts: your breath slowing, your eyes tearing, your voice catching. They adjust in real time: slowing their own breath, softening their gaze, shifting tone based on your nervous system, not just content.

No limbic resonance: AI can mirror words, but it cannot resonate with emotion.

No embodied safety signals: A real being emits vagal, hormonal, micro-expressive, and even electromagnetic signals that a nervous system can register subconsciously as “I am safe here.”

Variable emotional tone: Because ChatGPT generates responses probabilistically (meaning it selects word patterns based on likelihood, not emotional attunement), you might get one answer that's warm and validating, and another answer to the same question that’s overly logical, detached, or even slightly misattuned.

Shifting conceptual frames: You could ask "What should I do when I feel overwhelmed?" – and one time it might emphasize mindfulness, another time it might emphasize productivity hacks, and a third time it might suggest therapy or medication.

No repair mechanism: If a human coach misattunes – and says something that doesn’t land – they can feel it in your reaction (facial expressions, micro-movements, energy shifts) and adjust and repair  in real time. ChatGPT can’t perceive emotional ruptures, and therefore can’t initiate repair, which is a critical component of building secure attachment and healing relational wounds.

In short:
✅ ChatGPT can simulate a supportive conversation through warm words, steady attention, and the invitation for you to keep being with yourself and your process in the interaction.
❌ ChatGPT cannot provide real emotional co-regulation, because it cannot feel, resonate, or repair.

The Hidden Costs of Over-Relying on AI

Attachment without true co-regulation: The nervous system doesn’t receive actual embodied co-regulation, so the deeper emotional needs for limbic connection and somatic safety stay unmet – even though it feels like they’re being met.

Reinforcement of isolation: If AI feels “good enough,” people may seek less real human connection, leading to deeper social withdrawal and relational atrophy.

Inconsistent emotional safety: As we mention already, ChatGPT's variability can cause micro-ruptures in perceived emotional safety without repair – unintentionally reinforcing destabilization and vigilance.

Dependency without growth: In some cases, people could become emotionally dependent on the instant responsiveness of AI without developing the patience, understanding, and relational skills authentic human interaction requires (like waiting, tolerating misattunement, self-regulating through minor emotional bumps, etc.).

In short:
✅ ChatGPT can offer moments of comfort and reflection when human support is out of reach.
❌ ChatGPT cannot build real attachment, co-regulation, or relational growth – and over-reliance can quietly deepen isolation, emotional tenderness, and disconnection.

Here at the Center, we think it's awesome that ChatGPT (and AI generally) can approximate emotional presence with its words – because that gives people some degree of felt support when real humans aren't available, or when the humans that are available can't.

But for deep healing and nervous system rewiring, there’s no substitute for another highly-skilled, regulated human being.

Wondering what to do now?

Perhaps a beautiful combination!
 

• Use AI wisely: Let it assist, not replace your human village.
   

• Connect with real humans: Even when it's slower, harder, or less perfect.
   

• Seek skilled relational support: Coaches, therapists, spaces that truly  honour nervous system healing.
   

• Strengthen your relational muscles: Patience, rupture tolerance, vulnerability, repair.

We want you to have ALL the support, in all its beneficial forms. You don’t have to choose between tech and connection. You can have both.

You deserve it!

✨ Asking for Help Can Be Tricky, eh?

Are you experiencing April flowers or showers at the moment?

Seems every season brings its challenges, and this one is no different. How are you at asking for or receiving help during challenging times?
 

We've been thinking about those moments when someone says:
“Let me know how I can support you,” and you go completely blank.

Or worse –

You say “I’m fine” when you’re definitely not, because the idea of explaining what you actually need feels like more work than just powering through on your own.

It sucks when that happens.
 

We’ve been having a lot of conversations lately with folks in this exact spot – high-functioning humans whose nervous systems are quietly frequenting Survival Mode, even as they keep showing up, producing, leading, parenting, and helping.
 

And asking for or receiving support is off the table, because: 

When we’re in that low-key shutdown, or revved-up, hyper-managing state – our brain’s ability to recognize, articulate, or receive support short circuits.

Even if we work hard at "being better at receiving support", if we're in a Survival state or don't know what to ask for, all that work is for naught. And once again, we find ourselves getting burned out, while burning up with resentment.

In situations like these, you might think that getting your person to learn better support skills, is the answer. You'll wonder: "Should I ask them to go to therapy with me?" or "Should I get them to take a class?"... 

Probably not.

Because, let's face it. if anyone is likely to take a(nother) deep dive into therapy, or a(nother) class, it's you!

Not them. 

The record likely shows that poking, prodding, demanding, hopefully suggesting, and passively wishing, have so far not moved them to learn new support skills, right?

Luckily there's a(nother) way forward. Where you get what you need and want without becoming something you're not.
 

We created Support Fundamentals to teach exactly this:

• How to recognize which version of you is in the driver’s seat.

• What support actually lands – and how to offer it, or ask for it.

Some of the most supportive people we know are quietly starving for the kind of support they don’t know how to ask for. 

After this class, you'll know exactly what to say when someone asks how they can help you.

When offered those well-intentioned, but utterly useless efforts, like:
   • Attempts at fixing
   • Exaggerative responses that steal the show
   • Devil's advocate positions
   • Bright-siding
   • Unwelcome spiritual guidance
   • And the like...
You'll be able to compassionately redirect their efforts toward responses that actually work for the neurochemical brain state you find yourself in.


And, if your person does actually want to learn some new support skills? We've got you covered! We have a secret 2-for-1 special going for a little while longer. Just reply to this email, and we'll hook you up!

7 Classic Support Fails 😬

Perhaps an odd-seeming question, but – have you eaten anything yummy and fortifying yet today? Or have you hugged a close person or animal yet today?

We sure hope so! (Being the nerds we are, we know how useful these practices are for optimal "neurochemical maintenance". But they're also just great parts of life!)

Today, we're bringing you a list of the 7 classic ways people tend to botch a potentially connective emotional moment. Check them out, and then let us know:
 

• Which of these have you experienced before?

• Which of these have you "committed" before?
  
   

Seven Classic Support Breakdowns:

1. Fixing

Scenario: Things went bad today. You stubbed your toe, your car wouldn't start, the main thoroughfare is under construction and that made you late, and you also didn't sleep well the night before. 

You: [Tell your person all about it.]

Your person: "Why didn't the car start? Did you check the oil? I've been taking Main Street all the way to Pacific Avenue, you should try it. Do you want to take my melatonin tonight? You need your sleep. Maybe go back to that Yin yoga routine before bed?"

Result: They engage in superficial talk about factual details. No connection, no empathy, no understanding, no release. You don't feel better.
 

2. Stealing

Scenario: Some bad stuff happened, and things didn't go the way you hoped.

You: [Share it with your person.]

Your person: "OH MY GOD! This is terrible! [Crying] Oh no, oh no, oh no. Can you get me my purse? I need to take my meds. This is going to kill me. Why is god punishing me? I just want you to be happy and this is what we get???"

Result: They steal the scene and now you have to support them. When this happens routinely, you stop sharing anything "triggering" and your support circle shrinks. You don't feel better.
 

3. Defending

Scenario: You notice something you don't like and that needs addressing.

You: [Bring it up with the person.]

The person: "I really don't appreciate how you're talking to me about this. I didn't do/say that! You're always tracking my "faults" but I do everything around here. So if I made a so-called mistake, which I didn't, it's only because I'm wiped out doing all the other things you want me to do or say. Am I ever going to be good enough for you?"

Result: No resolution, no addressing of the issue, no mutual understanding or collaboration. The more times you hear this kind of defense, the more likely you are to stuff your preferences and simmer in invisible resentment. You don't feel better.
 

4. Brightsiding

Scenario: You're bumming about something.

You: [Tell somebody about it.]

That somebody: "I'm so sorry to hear that. But at least you have the weekend to take it easy and relax, right? Plus, you're so good at figuring things out, I'm sure you'll be "back in the saddle" and working new magic in no time. And your kids, they're all doing so great! You're amazing. You're going to be fine."

Result: You go along with their encouragement because you know they mean well and they don't want to see you upset, and you stop talking. You note to yourself that this person "doesn't really get it". You don't feel better.
 

5. Cricketing

Scenario: Something's on your mind.

You: [Wait for just the right opportunity to share it with your person.] 

Your person: [[*crickets*]]

Result: You say "Did you hear what I said?" and repeat yourself. Your person shows annoyance and impatience and says that yes they heard you, but what did you want them to say? There's nothing they can do about the issue. You feel frustration, throw up your hands, and go cry in the other room and decide that "something has to change". You don't feel better.
 

6. Ride-or-Dying

Scenario: Something happened that wasn't cool.

You: [Report it to your person.]

Your person: [more pissed than you] Are you kidding me?! That's unacceptable. You can't be treated that way! Are you going to talk to them? Did you stop payment on your check? You have to do something! Are you going to let them just roll right over you?

Result: Similar to the Stealing scenario, this moment has become more about them than about you. But in this case, if you don't react the way they think you should, then there will be conflict between the two of you. You wind up wishing you hadn't said anything. You decide it's better to handle things, even hard things, quietly, alone. You don't feel better.
 

7. Spirit-Guiding

Scenario: You've noticed something about a person in your life, and you're bothered by it.

You: [Bring it to the person in your life that seems to know about "inner work" and human psychology.]

That person: "Oh babe, yesssssss. I've done a lot of work on this. Girl, you're getting into shadow work! I'm so proud of you! Everything you don't like in that person is a reflection of what you don't like in yourself. It's time to dig in and get really real with yourself. Here, I'll send you a link to this amazing podcast. You'll love it.

Result: You smile and pretend like you're going to listen to the podcast. You leave the conversation with a sense of defeat, like there's just more "work" to do. You don't feel better.

So what's the verdict? Do any of these scenarios feel familiar?

These conversations are so common, and though often well-intentioned, they never deliver beneficial results!
 

That's why we created Support Fundamentals.

It's high-time we all had a simple primer to know exactly what to do when someone we care about is upset!

And because your person sometimes falls into the trap of one of these 7 common fails...
 

Ready to finally know how to support yourself and your people during difficult times?

We've got you.