You have a right to know where the leaders of your communities stand so that you know whether or not you want to stand with them, right? We want to be fully transparent, generally as a rule, but especially now when accountability is so important.
 

 

Where we stand:


We're not okay with the people that are supposed to protect people instead hurting and killing them.

We're not okay with people being treated, not only differently, but also maliciously because of their physical attributes and/or identities.

And with respect to the current context, we want to say, we're not okay with the systems of this country working solidly, routinely, and chronically against black, and indigenous people, and people of color. 

That's where we stand. We stand with safety. For all.

 

What we're doing:


• We are continuously educating ourselves so that we are the safest and wisest community members possible. To further our equity efforts, we are working with our mentor, Trudi Lebron.

• Recent donations include, but are not limited to:

Lazuli Residency
The Montana Racial Equity Project
The Homeless Black Trans Women Fund
The Loveland Therapy Fund


• We are also offering scholarships to all of our coaching programs for BIPoC. These are not need-based scholarships, they are equity-driven. Click here for a scholarship application.

What we know and don't know:


We're permanent learners. We don't know everything and will never pretend to. We pledge to keep our minds, hearts, ears, and analytical minds open to all that there is yet to learn.

But what we do know is that we cannot effect long-term, lasting change from our survival brains. That part of us that kicks in when we're really scared, really mad, or deep in despair? It reacts in just four ways: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Appease.
 

This means that when we are processing from a survival state:

  • we don't care about others, only ourselves

  • we can't see new possibilities, we can only double-down on acts that didn't work the first time

  • we procrastinate

  • we run away 

  • we distract ourselves

  • we agree to arrangements that aren't right for us

  • we get defensive

  • we assault

  • we give up

  • we freeze


The survival brain state also has very little stamina to keep anything up for any amount of time. What we need to dismantle systemic racism and provide all forms of safety to all people, is prolonged, serious, creative effort. 

Only the executive brain is equipped for that.

Our goal is to help as many people as possible to get back to, or stay in their executive brains, as often as possible and for as long as possible.
 

When we process from the executive brain state:

  • we are logical

  • we are compassionate

  • we are dedicated

  • we are curious

  • we are empathetic

  • we are able to learn and retain new information

  • we care about others

  • we change habits

  • we hear, see, and understand better

  • we are open-minded

  • we are detail oriented

  • we follow through

  • we keep it up


At this time, especially, it is important that we all do our parts to manage our own brain chemistry and climb back into our executive brain again and again. 
 

How?


Already fighting, flying, freezing, or appeasing? Okay, time to soothe the survival system: 
Get warm, get safe, eat food, drink water.
Now try 5,4,3,2,1:
Notice 5 things you can see. 
4 things you can touch.
3 things you can hear.
2 things you can smell.
1 thing you can taste.
Give it time.
When your survival system is soothed and your heart rate is back to normal, you can now start Notice, Name, Touch to soothe your emotional system and get back to an executive state.

Feeling upset? Notice, name, touch: 
Notice when emotion is present.
Name it (at least 2-3 feelings you're able to notice).
Use touch (a hug, your hand over your heart) to help process it.
Give it some time (so your brain chemistry can shift).
In this way your emotional system will be soothed enough to grant you access to your executive brain again.
 

Now... Act


Your executive brain will help you take effective action, cooperate, plan, support, and generally be the biggest, best, most brave, and helpful version of yourself. You've taken the steps to change your brain chemistry and now have access to this powerful brain state. Go out there and do all of the powerful, earth-shaking, system-changing things you know to do.

Need direction for where to go next? Here's a resource.


 

There is a huge emotional load right now.


The pandemic alone is more than enough to raise our emotional content to an extremely uncomfortable level. Add to that decades of despair, rage, and powerlessness that pool around racial injustice. Toss in some anxiety about "doing it all wrong" and getting kicked off the good team. Add a splash of shame and guilt for having feelings at all at a time when you're supposed to be supporting or fighting. That's a perfect recipe for total meltdown.

It is important that you talk about your feelings. (Remember, that survival brain will kick in as soon as the emotional load is too potent or heavy).

If you are not a Black, Indigenous, or Person of Color community member, you're right, it's not time to share about your feelings on social media and reach out for support on the national scale. It's not your turn for that. It's time for all of those often-muted voices to be amplified. But that doesn't mean you have to stuff it all in. It's worse for everyone if you do. Talk to a trusted non-marginalized friend, or email us. We will hear you and connect with you around your experience.
 

If you are a Black, Indigenous, or Person of Color community member, you have our support to take up as much of the stage as feels right to you. You can also email us and we will hear you and connect with you around your experience. Just because there are others speaking loudly and holding the spotlight, doesn't mean that your particular experience doesn't need to be held. Sometimes it can seem like other people are saying it better, or already said what you might say, but there is potent neuro-chemical alchemy that happens when we hear our own voice -- even in an email -- describing our emotional landscape.



No matter who you are, odds are you are having big feelings. Our intention is to communicate that you are safe with us. If you do not feel safe with us, we'd like to hear more and do better.

We're here. 


Love,
Natalie and Nathan