I recently had a terrible day... I was very unhappy.
Took a walk. Noticed my mind scanning for something – anything – that would make me feel happier.
I checked all the externals:
- Was I particularly thin, beautiful, or stylish today? NO
- Did I make some good money today? NO
- Impressive bank account? NO
- Yummy dinner planned? NO
- At least some cheese or sugar waiting? NO
Nothing on the outside was going to do it.
Alas.
I begrudgingly resigned myself to shifting from the inside.
1. Get out of Survival Mode
For 15 minutes I worked tools from Unit 3 of Emotional Sovereignty School:
– 54321 (elaborate version)
– Light Touch
– Regulating Breath
– “Do I have a body?”
2. Work the emotions
By the time I reached the riverbank, I was body-calm enough to use Notice, Name, Touch (Unit 6):
– I named every feeling and let it headline:
WORRY: “I’ll never figure this out.”
FRUSTRATION: “If you have good ideas and work hard, you should win.”
– Etc., etc.
– I followed with empathy, used my name, touched my chest lovingly
– Added breath and anchoring
Then I dove deeper:
– Found the biggest emotions
– Named their catch phrases
– Touched where they lived in my body
– Let them say wild things
– Followed their lead
By the time I reached the roses in the waterwise garden, I felt better, but not buoyant.
I checked for optimism or ideas.
Still nope.
So I doubled down on empathy for 5 more minutes.
3. Offer gentle support
Out of the depths, and having the sense of being seen, I used Unit 11 tools to list easy next steps:
– A couple handfuls of blueberries
– Hair brushing
– Shower + favorite soft PJ set
I knew I was back to my real self when I could tell, even from afar, what my body wanted to eat and what I could make from the pantry.
Still wary I might “fall back in,” I chose a color anchor (Unit 3) and kept breathing all the way to the doorstep.
4. I returned.
Same porch as an hour ago. But now the world – and I – felt different.
– I ate the blueberries.
– Kissed my partner.
– Slowly brushed my hair.
– Negotiated for the good bathroom.
– Made the most delicious dinner.
I changed *nothing* on the outside.
And everything on the inside.
I heart Emotional Sovereignty.
And you can have it too!
Feel free to use this recipe I used the other day.
And if you want more, more, more... Emotional Sovereignty School might be a great fit for you.
In any case, we're sending love!
Curious?
Here are the 4 Phases inside Emotional Sovereignty School
