Seasonal Salutations!
We hope this finds you enjoying the delights of whatever season you're amidst in your part of the world – with your exact-right flavors of coziness, and pleasure, and connection!
We're coming through today with some hot tips for surviving Summer in the Northern Hemisphere. (If you happen to be Down Under, then bookmark this letter for your warm months! Or see how you can apply these concepts to your chilliness instead...)
The funny thing about being human is that we have these brains that are doing their thing. All! The! Time!
Every day, our processing can move between the Survival State, Emotional State, and Executive State – multiple times! – which means that on any given day we may feel the intense adrenaline and cortisol attributed to Survival Mode, the layers of confusing emotions involved with Emotional Mode, and, if we're lucky and/or trained in Emotional Sovereignty, we might get to feel the glow of being our rad selves in Executive Mode.
And these Brain States are running our experience every second! Even in the sweet summertime.
So here are three smokin' tips for keeping each brain state at ease in the dog days of Summer.
1. Survival State: Keep that Body Temp. Regulated
The needs of the Survival System are basic: food, water, shelter, safety, time, and temperature. When one of these needs gets neglected, then look out, here comes the primal version of ourselves! Unless we have training, when this happens we're likely to:
snap at others
make rash decisions
give up on things that matter to us
betray ourselves
So, particularly in these hotter months, take temperature seriously!
Dress for the weather
Wear a sun hat – even if it looks dorky
Organize your time, so that any driving or errand-running happens in the cool hours
Find shade, even if you think you don't need it
2. Emotional State: Normalize Bummer Feelings
There is a common expectation that Summer is nothing but fun! It's time to frolic and be happy! Hello sunny days and goodbye rainy days – literally and metaphorically!
But – *spoiler alert* – feelings happen in Summer too.
Just like Summer cold viruses are normal, Summer blues like overwhelm, stress, loneliness, yearning, nostalgia, anxiety, and anger are also normal. Just because the sun is out doesn't mean the feelings aren't!
So let's normalize feelings in the Summer months. Give yourself permission to notice the feelings and indulge them by talking about them, expressing them, and tending to them. If your sadness needs to cuddle up in a blanket, do it!
(Just make sure you don't get overheated, because then that Survival Brain State is gonna surge forward and start "gnashing its teeth".)
3. Executive State: Meet Needs that Summer Doesn't
If the Survival state's job is to keep us alive, and the Emotional state's job is to keep us connected to our feelings (and to others via feelings), then the Executive state's job is to tend to higher-order needs like:
Adventure
Discovery
Structure
Predictability
Peace
Play
Meaning
Etc.
(You can check out our awesome needs list here)
Summer is a great venue for meeting some needs like Adventure and Play, and can be downright awful for meeting others like Structure and Predictability. So when Summer takes a swing at some of your key needs, you want to find ways to reinforce them in other ways.
For instance, if kids being out of school and staying up late jangles your needs for Structure and Predictability, then perhaps look for ways to meet those needs by:
declaring Tuesdays, "Taco Tuesday!", and eating tacos every Tuesday for the rest of the Summer. (Need met: Predictability, among others)
doing two pull-ups before breakfast, before lunch, and before dinner every day. (Need met: Structure, among others)
making a list of things to which you are a strong "No", things to which you are a strong "Yes", and things to which you need time to consider. (Need met: Predictability among others)
In other words, when life gets less structured and less predictable, and you really need those things, you can make sure that you become more predictable and more structured in areas over which you do have control.
An enjoyable life is a neuroemotionally fluid one! If we tend to each Brain State and give it what it needs, then our nervous systems will hum with efficiency and flexibility.
So here's to your Summer self! May you love it well.
We're always rooting for you.
With love,
Natalie and Nathan
💛
The very best way to live your best self every season of the year is to get some training in how to really work these Brain States. Join us for the best trauma-informed, inclusive, community-based, Emotional Intelligence training under the Summer sun!
