I was a people-pleaser.

I was so run by my primary Survival Mode (Appease) that it affected my identity dramatically. And I actually celebrated being the one who would do anything for anyone even if it was to my detriment.

I even let myself be harmed, literally thinking to myself I was “helping” my perpetrator.

As I grew up, I began to notice that I really only had awareness of what other people wanted. I could almost never tell what I actually wanted, preferred, or needed.

I got into relationships ostensibly so that I could help my lovers, but really just to prove to myself I was lovable.

And for decades I thought that I didn’t really like physical intimacy.

“It’s so overrated!” I would say to myself, and, “If this is all there is to it, maybe I’m just not that sexual…”

And I thought I was stuck with being that way.

Things are so dramatically different, now. But let’s be honest, my shift didn’t happen overnight.

I didn’t turn on a dime and change my programming in a week.

Like most of us, lightning didn’t strike me.

I had to go the long way. Taking years to learn each new thing and implement and grow from it.

But I did it!

I have now utterly reconstructed my programming around intimacy, and pleasure, and meeting my needs, and collaborating with others for mutual needs-meeting.

I now LOVE sex.

And, I also get to enjoy so much safety, connection, and touch (along with so much else) that sex is a delicious bonus, not a way to manage my survival or my feelings.

So that’s why we created this course, and why we’re so passionate about supporting you, too; so that you don’t have to bumble around in the dark like we did for decades trying to figure all this out!

I now have a complete, well-rounded, and intimate relationship that I’m proud of, but it wasn’t always that way.

The earliest messages I received about intimacy were confusing. From what I picked up it was intriguing and exciting, maybe kind of scary too, but certainly that sex was shameful.

I got the mixed-message that to participate in sex was shameful. And to be afraid of sex, or disinterested in sex was also shameful.

So I lived my entire adult life staying out of relationships where sex was expected OR, in relationship but participating in intimacy only enough to keep my partner happy.

I didn’t know my body.

I didn’t climax.

I didn’t ask for anything.

It wasn’t until deep into my partnership with Nathan, and fairly far into my adult life, that I blossomed.

The increasing safety in our relationship meant that my body started to come back online and feel sensation. And processing my emotions around sex meant I was able to engage fully in my own sexual pleasure.

Now I think of intimacy as a regular and healthy part of life. It’s something I actively seek and enjoy.

Pleasure is an entire world once closed to me and now open.

Now I have completely turned my relationship with sex around. I have the ability to revel in being utterly shameless, fearless, and powerful in my love life.

This is a self-study class. You can begin anytime and go at your own pace.

Yes

Yes

Absolutely. This workshop provides information and strategies you will use throughout your life, whether partnered or not.

YES! This workshop, and all of our programs, trainings, and 1:1 work, are inclusive. We welcome and support all bodies, identities, partnerships, and relationship statuses.

This is a self-study class accessed through an online classroom hub.

Yes.

We encourage workshop students to graduate into Emotional Sovereignty School for furthering their learning. Partners can join this course for free.

Emotional Sovereignty School Plus includes 1:1 support as well as the comprehensive program.

And coaching sessions with one of our coaches is always available and recommended.